Book of the Bokke

Book of the Bokke

Post by Albert D. Pestan » Thu, 28 Oct 1999 04:00:00


Got this from another NG. Dunno if you have seen this. I ahv enot come
across it on this NG.

I thought it was hilarious....best to print it out and read it in printed
form.

A Lament scribed in Londonium by the quill of an expatriatum. To be
intoned with deep passion and utmost solemnity.

1 Now it came to pass that there was a tumult in the land of the Bokke
for many are called, yet few are chosen. Yea verily, though many warriors
of the Bokke desired to slay their enemies at the Cup Of The World, first
they must be chosen. And so the mighty Nick the Mallet and the wise
Solomons didst sit and they didst ponder long and hard.

2 And wise Solomons didst say unto Nick the Mallet, "Yea for certain,
we are sorely pressed by the Dallaglites and the tribe of Kefu, and verily
the men of Taine will grind us. But behold, I have a vision! Let us
travel to the land of Provincius Westernus, a land flowing with wine and the
*** of many innocents, and there shall we find a fighter called Anton
the Obscure, and Skinsite the Unready and Ras of Erasmus who neither
know what they do in battle at the place of the eight men, and we shall
confuse and trick our opponents. Most surely, by this cunning they shall be
amused and shall fall about laughing and not be able to fight us for their
mirth".

3 And Nick the Mallet saith unto him: "As long as this Anton whom I
knownot be from Provincius Westernus, then I agree with you, oh wise one."

4 But lo! there was weeping and wailing and the gnashing of teeth in the
land of the Bokke, for the champion of the people was one Gary the
Teichmanite. And he was bold; a man of dignity and honour, and wise in
the manner of the experienced ones, but sadly not of the land of Provincius
Westernus.

5 Therefore, Nick the Mallet didst smite Gary the Teichmanite with
insults and didst call unto him: "Thou are clapped-out and not even worthy
to
be counted among the mighty men of eight in Bokkeland. Thou art finished
and unwanted and a burden unto me. Because of thee I was smote by the
Ozzites and the Zealanders. It be all thy fault and failure. I banish thee
to
the land of the Welshites, to the place of dragons and singing leek
eaters."

6 And the wise Solomons didst agree, for he loved Anton the Obscure for
he was from Provincius Westernus. And now the wise Solomons turned to Nick
the Mallet and saith unto him: "But as for the centre of our army, we
are sorely lacking. For Japie of Mulder is injured and slow, and Andre the
Cutter is laid low and as for Hennie the Red, I know you love him not.
And besides, the faction of the Ayencee-ites are pressing sorely against us
from every side. What shall we do?"

7 And Nick the Mallet saith unto the wise Solomons: "Behold! There is a
man from Ethiopia and he is black and comely. Most surely, I shall
choose him and place him among our army. And the faction of the Ayencee-ites
will
be leased and happy, and shall bless us. His name is Kaya the Motley One.
It be true he has never before fought any army of the Ozzites or the
Pommites or even the Italites. But I promise thee this, that matters not for
he
shall take a mighty load off my back, and blessed shall we be by the
faction of the Ayencee-ites who may yet even send messengers bearing many,
varied
and precious gifts."

8 But the people of Bokkeland rose in a mighty shout and demandeth of
their generals: "Where are our mighty and wise warriors like Andre the
Jubilant, William of Chester and those many others who have fought so
well against all our enemies and have slain them and who are also wise in
the ways of the Cup of the World?"

9 And then the generals and Nick the Mallet answered the people thus:
"Oh ye foolish rabble! Ye may weep and gnash thy teeth and even
sprinkle upon thyselves the loose grass of the field of Newlands in
mourning,
but we declare unto thee, this Cup of the World giveth us a chance to
experiment for that Cup of the World that shall 4 years hence be held
against the same enemies. For this reason I have chosen Pieter the
Clumsy and Breyton the Small and Deon the Unsure.

10 "And verily, verily I say unto thee: I careth not! for my contract
runneth only until the year of 2002."

Albert D. Pestana
083 679 0935

www.sportfanatix.com

Get all of  your Springbok Supporter's Gear
On line Now.... Go to www.sportfanatix.com

 
 
 

Book of the Bokke

Post by an.. » Thu, 28 Oct 1999 04:00:00

It was posted here once before, but still funny.  I wonder what the original
writer and poster will say if the Boks win the cup.  Will Mallet and
Solomon's become heros?  Will we see posters ... "Mallet for President!!!"?



Quote:
> Got this from another NG. Dunno if you have seen this. I ahv enot come
> across it on this NG.

> I thought it was hilarious....best to print it out and read it in printed
> form.

> A Lament scribed in Londonium by the quill of an expatriatum. To be
> intoned with deep passion and utmost solemnity.

> 1 Now it came to pass that there was a tumult in the land of the Bokke
> for many are called, yet few are chosen. Yea verily, though many warriors
> of the Bokke desired to slay their enemies at the Cup Of The World, first
> they must be chosen. And so the mighty Nick the Mallet and the wise
> Solomons didst sit and they didst ponder long and hard.

> 2 And wise Solomons didst say unto Nick the Mallet, "Yea for certain,
> we are sorely pressed by the Dallaglites and the tribe of Kefu, and verily
> the men of Taine will grind us. But behold, I have a vision! Let us
> travel to the land of Provincius Westernus, a land flowing with wine and
the
> *** of many innocents, and there shall we find a fighter called Anton
> the Obscure, and Skinsite the Unready and Ras of Erasmus who neither
> know what they do in battle at the place of the eight men, and we shall
> confuse and trick our opponents. Most surely, by this cunning they shall
be
> amused and shall fall about laughing and not be able to fight us for their
> mirth".

> 3 And Nick the Mallet saith unto him: "As long as this Anton whom I
> knownot be from Provincius Westernus, then I agree with you, oh wise one."

> 4 But lo! there was weeping and wailing and the gnashing of teeth in the
> land of the Bokke, for the champion of the people was one Gary the
> Teichmanite. And he was bold; a man of dignity and honour, and wise in
> the manner of the experienced ones, but sadly not of the land of
Provincius
> Westernus.

> 5 Therefore, Nick the Mallet didst smite Gary the Teichmanite with
> insults and didst call unto him: "Thou are clapped-out and not even worthy
> to
> be counted among the mighty men of eight in Bokkeland. Thou art finished
> and unwanted and a burden unto me. Because of thee I was smote by the
> Ozzites and the Zealanders. It be all thy fault and failure. I banish thee
> to
> the land of the Welshites, to the place of dragons and singing leek
> eaters."

> 6 And the wise Solomons didst agree, for he loved Anton the Obscure for
> he was from Provincius Westernus. And now the wise Solomons turned to Nick
> the Mallet and saith unto him: "But as for the centre of our army, we
> are sorely lacking. For Japie of Mulder is injured and slow, and Andre the
> Cutter is laid low and as for Hennie the Red, I know you love him not.
> And besides, the faction of the Ayencee-ites are pressing sorely against
us
> from every side. What shall we do?"

> 7 And Nick the Mallet saith unto the wise Solomons: "Behold! There is a
> man from Ethiopia and he is black and comely. Most surely, I shall
> choose him and place him among our army. And the faction of the
Ayencee-ites
> will
> be leased and happy, and shall bless us. His name is Kaya the Motley One.
> It be true he has never before fought any army of the Ozzites or the
> Pommites or even the Italites. But I promise thee this, that matters not
for
> he
> shall take a mighty load off my back, and blessed shall we be by the
> faction of the Ayencee-ites who may yet even send messengers bearing many,
> varied
> and precious gifts."

> 8 But the people of Bokkeland rose in a mighty shout and demandeth of
> their generals: "Where are our mighty and wise warriors like Andre the
> Jubilant, William of Chester and those many others who have fought so
> well against all our enemies and have slain them and who are also wise in
> the ways of the Cup of the World?"

> 9 And then the generals and Nick the Mallet answered the people thus:
> "Oh ye foolish rabble! Ye may weep and gnash thy teeth and even
> sprinkle upon thyselves the loose grass of the field of Newlands in
> mourning,
> but we declare unto thee, this Cup of the World giveth us a chance to
> experiment for that Cup of the World that shall 4 years hence be held
> against the same enemies. For this reason I have chosen Pieter the
> Clumsy and Breyton the Small and Deon the Unsure.

> 10 "And verily, verily I say unto thee: I careth not! for my contract
> runneth only until the year of 2002."

> Albert D. Pestana
> 083 679 0935

> www.sportfanatix.com

> Get all of  your Springbok Supporter's Gear
> On line Now.... Go to www.sportfanatix.com


 
 
 

Book of the Bokke

Post by Jack Rowbotha » Thu, 28 Oct 1999 04:00:00

Does anyone have any more or know where I can get more of this apt but sad
tale?

 
 
 

Book of the Bokke

Post by Ken Copelan » Thu, 28 Oct 1999 04:00:00

The version I posted on Sunday - see Mallet vs Springboks by Ipo - is the only
known version. It originated in the Midlands of Natal but the author is
unknown!
Ken
Quote:

> Does anyone have any more or know where I can get more of this apt but sad
> tale?

 
 
 

Book of the Bokke

Post by Wobbl » Fri, 29 Oct 1999 04:00:00

Quote:

> Does anyone have any more or know where I can get more of this apt but sad
> tale?

We have published as much as we knew existed on rugbyheads with permission of
the author...

see:  http://www.planetnz.com/rugbyheads

Cheers,

Wobbly.

 
 
 

Book of the Bokke

Post by Thlayl » Fri, 29 Oct 1999 04:00:00


[snip]

Quote:
>8 But the people of Bokkeland rose in a mighty shout and demandeth of
>their generals: "Where are our mighty and wise warriors like Andre the
>Jubilant, William of Chester and those many others who have fought so
>well against all our enemies and have slain them and who are also wise in
>the ways of the Cup of the World?"

The absence of William of Chester is surely the greatest of the mysteries, for
not only is he beloved of the Ayencee-ites, he is from the same Provincialis
Westernus which is so favored by the Solomons and Nick the Mallett.

But nay, though the people of Bokkeland continue to wail and gnash their teeth
the army assembled by Nick the Mallett hath in fact smitten all the enemies
they have yet faced in the Cup of the World.  Now the only tests that doth
remain are the familiar opponents from the Battle of the Three Nations (it is
presumed by all that the men of the Land of the Three Colors will not vex the
Zealandites greatly).

--
Thlayli

This message printed on 100% recycled electrons (40% post-consumer)

*** Replace "theglobe.com" with "usa.net" to email me ***

 
 
 

Book of the Bokke

Post by Albert D. Pestan » Sat, 30 Oct 1999 04:00:00

Brilliant reply.


Quote:

> [snip]
> >8 But the people of Bokkeland rose in a mighty shout and demandeth of
> >their generals: "Where are our mighty and wise warriors like Andre the
> >Jubilant, William of Chester and those many others who have fought so
> >well against all our enemies and have slain them and who are also wise in
> >the ways of the Cup of the World?"

> The absence of William of Chester is surely the greatest of the mysteries,
for
> not only is he beloved of the Ayencee-ites, he is from the same
Provincialis
> Westernus which is so favored by the Solomons and Nick the Mallett.

> But nay, though the people of Bokkeland continue to wail and gnash their
teeth
> the army assembled by Nick the Mallett hath in fact smitten all the
enemies
> they have yet faced in the Cup of the World.  Now the only tests that doth
> remain are the familiar opponents from the Battle of the Three Nations (it
is
> presumed by all that the men of the Land of the Three Colors will not vex
the
> Zealandites greatly).

> --
> Thlayli

> This message printed on 100% recycled electrons (40% post-consumer)

> *** Replace "theglobe.com" with "usa.net" to email me ***