The Book of The Bokke (... from za.humour )

The Book of The Bokke (... from za.humour )

Post by Pieter Scheeper » Wed, 08 Sep 1999 04:00:00


The Book of The Bokke, Chapter 10 Verses 1-10

1.) Now there was a tumult in the land of the Bokke, for many are called,
yet few are chosen. Yea though many warriors of the Bokke wanted to slay
their enemies at the Cup Of The World, firstly they must be chosen. And so
mighty Nick the Mallet and wise Solomons did sit and they did ponder long
and hard.

2) And wise Solomons did say unto Nick the Mallet, "Yea we are sorely
pressed by the Dallagites and the tribe of Kefu, and the men of Taine will
grind us. But behold I have a vision! Let us travel to the land of
Provincialis, and there we will find a fighter called Anton the Obscure. And
The Skinsite and Ras of Erasmus who neither know what they do in battle at
the place of the eight men, we shall confuse and trick our opponents. And by
this cunning they shall be amused and shall fall about laughing and not be
able to fight us from their mirth. And Nick the Mallet saith:  " As long as
this Anton whom I know not be from Provincialis, then I agree with you, oh
wise one."

3) And there was weeping and gnashing of teeth in the land of the Bokke, for
the champion of the people was one Gary the Teichmanite. And he was bold and
a man of dignity and honour. But Nick the Mallet did smite him with insults
and calleth unto
Gary the Teichmanite: " Thou are clapped-out and not even counted among the
men of eight in Bokkeland. Thou are finished and unwanted and a burden unto
me. Because of you I was smote by the Ozzities and the Zealanders. It be all
your fault. I banish you to the land of the Welsh-ites." And wise Solomons
did agree, for he loved Anton the Obscure as he was from Provincialis.

4) And now wise Solomons turned to Nick the Mallet and said: " But for the
centre of our army, we are sorely lacking. For Japie of Mulder is injured
and slow, and Andre the Cutter is laid lown and as for Hennie the Red, I
know you do not love him.. And besides the faction of the Ayencee-ites are
sorely against us. What shall we do?" And Nick the Mallet said unto
Solomons:  " Behold there is a man from Ethiopia and he is black and comely.
And I shall choose him and place him among our army. And the faction of the
Ayencee-ites will be pleased and happy, and shall bless us. And his name is
Kaya the Motley-one. It be true he has never fought before any army of
Ozzities or Pommities or even Ital-ities. But I promise you this, he shall
take a mighty load off my back."

5) But the people of Bokkeland rose in a mighty shout and asketh of their
generals: "Where are our mighty and wise warriors like Andre the
Jubilant,William of Chester and others who have fought against all our
enemies and have slewn them and are wise in the ways of the Cup of the
World?"

6) And then the generals answered the people thus: " Oh ye foolish
population! You may weep and gnash your teeth and even sprinkle upon
yourselves the loose grass of the field of Newlands in mourning. But I say
unto you the Cup of the World giveth us a chance to experiment for the next
Cup of the World that shall be held 4 years from now, against the same
enemies. For this reason I have chosen Pieter the Clumsy and Breyton the
Small and Deon the Unsure. For my contract runneth over until the year
2002."

7) And for 4 years the people of the Land of the Bokke wore sack cloth and
ashes. Beating their chests in misery, crying out at the foolishness of the
Generals ,who by now had been banished to the Land of Bigbucs. And thus
spoke Nick the Mallet, "The Cup of the World, is not the end of the world"
and thus spoke the wise Solomons, "I knew not of the strange world of
back-line play, and technical patterns" And the people cried out in fury
"Indeed, then why did ye banish Jake the White One?" and the Generals and
the Wise Ones were quiet, feeling foolish, they looked down on the people
from the lofty heights of Bigbucs, safe in the knowledge that they were
untouchable.

 
 
 

The Book of The Bokke (... from za.humour )

Post by an.. » Wed, 08 Sep 1999 04:00:00

Very amusing and well written.  If we change a few names, we could have said
exactly the same about the 1995 Springboks and management and we know where
that ended.


Quote:
> The Book of The Bokke, Chapter 10 Verses 1-10

> 1.) Now there was a tumult in the land of the Bokke, for many are called,
> yet few are chosen. Yea though many warriors of the Bokke wanted to slay
> their enemies at the Cup Of The World, firstly they must be chosen. And so
> mighty Nick the Mallet and wise Solomons did sit and they did ponder long
> and hard.

> 2) And wise Solomons did say unto Nick the Mallet, "Yea we are sorely
> pressed by the Dallagites and the tribe of Kefu, and the men of Taine will
> grind us. But behold I have a vision! Let us travel to the land of
> Provincialis, and there we will find a fighter called Anton the Obscure.
And
> The Skinsite and Ras of Erasmus who neither know what they do in battle at
> the place of the eight men, we shall confuse and trick our opponents. And
by
> this cunning they shall be amused and shall fall about laughing and not be
> able to fight us from their mirth. And Nick the Mallet saith:  " As long
as
> this Anton whom I know not be from Provincialis, then I agree with you, oh
> wise one."

> 3) And there was weeping and gnashing of teeth in the land of the Bokke,
for
> the champion of the people was one Gary the Teichmanite. And he was bold
and
> a man of dignity and honour. But Nick the Mallet did smite him with
insults
> and calleth unto
> Gary the Teichmanite: " Thou are clapped-out and not even counted among
the
> men of eight in Bokkeland. Thou are finished and unwanted and a burden
unto
> me. Because of you I was smote by the Ozzities and the Zealanders. It be
all
> your fault. I banish you to the land of the Welsh-ites." And wise Solomons
> did agree, for he loved Anton the Obscure as he was from Provincialis.

> 4) And now wise Solomons turned to Nick the Mallet and said: " But for the
> centre of our army, we are sorely lacking. For Japie of Mulder is injured
> and slow, and Andre the Cutter is laid lown and as for Hennie the Red, I
> know you do not love him.. And besides the faction of the Ayencee-ites are
> sorely against us. What shall we do?" And Nick the Mallet said unto
> Solomons:  " Behold there is a man from Ethiopia and he is black and
comely.
> And I shall choose him and place him among our army. And the faction of
the
> Ayencee-ites will be pleased and happy, and shall bless us. And his name
is
> Kaya the Motley-one. It be true he has never fought before any army of
> Ozzities or Pommities or even Ital-ities. But I promise you this, he shall
> take a mighty load off my back."

> 5) But the people of Bokkeland rose in a mighty shout and asketh of their
> generals: "Where are our mighty and wise warriors like Andre the
> Jubilant,William of Chester and others who have fought against all our
> enemies and have slewn them and are wise in the ways of the Cup of the
> World?"

> 6) And then the generals answered the people thus: " Oh ye foolish
> population! You may weep and gnash your teeth and even sprinkle upon
> yourselves the loose grass of the field of Newlands in mourning. But I say
> unto you the Cup of the World giveth us a chance to experiment for the
next
> Cup of the World that shall be held 4 years from now, against the same
> enemies. For this reason I have chosen Pieter the Clumsy and Breyton the
> Small and Deon the Unsure. For my contract runneth over until the year
> 2002."

> 7) And for 4 years the people of the Land of the Bokke wore sack cloth and
> ashes. Beating their chests in misery, crying out at the foolishness of
the
> Generals ,who by now had been banished to the Land of Bigbucs. And thus
> spoke Nick the Mallet, "The Cup of the World, is not the end of the world"
> and thus spoke the wise Solomons, "I knew not of the strange world of
> back-line play, and technical patterns" And the people cried out in fury
> "Indeed, then why did ye banish Jake the White One?" and the Generals and
> the Wise Ones were quiet, feeling foolish, they looked down on the people
> from the lofty heights of Bigbucs, safe in the knowledge that they were
> untouchable.