Graeme Hick- how he nearly hit me

Graeme Hick- how he nearly hit me

Post by Jackie Hewit » Wed, 13 May 1998 04:00:00


On the theme of Hicky batting, I thought my 3 score years and ten might
be about to be terminated prematurely in a Sunday league match at New
Road last season.

Hicky launched the ball into orbit (I have seen him hit balls into the
adjoining dual carriageway outside the ground at Worcester). It went up,
and up, and up, and then commenced its downward date with gravity-
seemingly aiming for a point roughly right between my eyes. That ball
had "jackie" written on it. It seemed to hover in the air for a mighty
long time- enough time to get Isaac Newton worried that he might have
got it all wrong. Then it really did start to come down, and down and
down. I was sort of immobilised, mesmerised by the thing, even tbough it
still seemed to be aiming for me. Then it did the decent thing, and hit
the roof of the Worcester players balcony, I think it might have caught
Tom Moody but by then the force had been taken off it by the roof. Two
of my friends each own half of the roof tile it broke.

Saved- but for some reason, for the rest of last season, whenever Hick
walked out to bat, my friends developed a tendancy to shout to him
"She's over here"...........
--
Jackie Hewitt
Courtney Walsh's Biggest Fan

See my tribute to Courtney

http://users.ox.ac.uk/~jackieh/courtney_walsh.html

 
 
 

Graeme Hick- how he nearly hit me

Post by Lind » Wed, 13 May 1998 04:00:00

Perhaps this is a good moment to bore everyone with my last Saturday in the
Parks anecdote (No, Jackie, not the one where you inadvertedly insulted
Dean Headley, the other one..)

Standing on the boundary having a quiet fag (well, you don't have to be fit
to watch fit people running around) I was enjoying watching my Kent hero
Mark Ealham slamming the balls around (50 no off 71balls, last 30 off 20
balls) when he took an almighty swipe, and the ball zoomed off into orbit.
I was merrily puffing away and gazing at this missile in admiration, when I
realised it was heading straight for me. There was a horrible moment when I
didn't know whether to dive left or right made worse by the fact that a
tree was overhanging the fence behind me and obscuring the exact
trajectory. It was going to be close though. I dived right. The ball
crashed through the leaves and thudded to the ground a foot from me. After
I'd got over the relief of diving the right way, I realised that the bloke
on my left was having a coronary. He hadn't spotted it, and it missed him
by a couple of inches. After he'd finished berating me for not warning him,
we had a nice little chat. (Him - well, yes, I suppose some girls do like
cricket but they shouldn't be allowed to box etc etc yawn yawn.. wish it
had hit him after all)

Sigh. That Mark Ealham. He may be compact, but he's soooo butch.

Linda

 
 
 

Graeme Hick- how he nearly hit me

Post by MG » Wed, 13 May 1998 04:00:00

Quote:

> Sigh. That Mark Ealham. He may be compact, but he's soooo butch.

And he should be playing for England.
--
Mike Gooding

        "You're pretty brave in ***space, flameboy"
        "Step inside"

 
 
 

Graeme Hick- how he nearly hit me

Post by Lind » Wed, 13 May 1998 04:00:00



Quote:

> > Sigh. That Mark Ealham. He may be compact, but he's soooo butch.

> And he should be playing for England.
> --

I couldn't agree more. He's a consistent middle order batsman and reliable
bowler. I know there is an argument against all-rounders, but when you get
to six in the batting order, and Ealham's coming out to bat, you know
you've got one more chance to notch up a decent score. I hope he gets
picked for the one dayers, at least, but I'd like to see him back on the
test side. Can't see where he went wrong in the Ashes tour. (In 'Ashes
Summer', Hussain comments that the Ozzies privately expressed surprise and
relief when he was dropped)

Linda

Quote:
> Mike Gooding

>    "You're pretty brave in ***space, flameboy"
>    "Step inside"

 
 
 

Graeme Hick- how he nearly hit me

Post by Chris Westo » Wed, 13 May 1998 04:00:00



<snip first part of tale - no Grame Hick there>

Quote:
>I was merrily puffing away and gazing at this missile in admiration, when I
>realised it was heading straight for me. There was a horrible moment when I
>didn't know whether to dive left or right made worse by the fact that a
>tree was overhanging the fence behind me and obscuring the exact
>trajectory. It was going to be close though. I dived right. The ball
>crashed through the leaves and thudded to the ground a foot from me. After
>I'd got over the relief of diving the right way, I realised that the bloke
>on my left was having a coronary. He hadn't spotted it, and it missed him
>by a couple of inches. After he'd finished berating me for not warning him,
>we had a nice little chat. (Him - well, yes, I suppose some girls do like
>cricket but they shouldn't be allowed to box etc etc yawn yawn.. wish it
>had hit him after all)

And no Graeme Hick here?  I read through a whole page expecting a story
about Hick belting Linda for some comical reason, and he doesn't even
feature?  Hmph.  Oh yes, blokes at cricket matches are generally sad
reactionaries.  "look at that hair, like my daughters', those sideburns
are too long, he looks like a girl".  Pay no heed.  Especially if they
look like me.

I remember watching Allan Lamb smash a quickfire fifty once upon a time,
the bloke sat just to the left of me had a nearly-full pint of bitter on
the seat next to him.  Lamby pulled a ball for a flat six which zoomed
over the fence, scoring a direct hit on aforementioned bloke's pint,
smashing it to smithereens.  How I laughed, surreptitiously ..erm
surrepticiously erm quietly moving my own pint out of harms way.

Regards

--
Chris Weston
Thanks to Abe Simpson for the sideburns quip

 
 
 

Graeme Hick- how he nearly hit me

Post by MG » Wed, 13 May 1998 04:00:00

Quote:




> > Can't see where he went wrong in the Ashes tour. (In 'Ashes
> > Summer', Hussain comments that the Ozzies privately expressed surprise and
> > relief when he was dropped)

I think what happened was that Athers said 'well, he hasn't done much with the ball' (neatly
forgetting that he had only bowled Ealham for about three overs during the series).  And there
was a great (i.e. in the media) desire to see anyone called Hollioake in the team.  Add the
obvious appeal of the Hollioakes' aggressive haircuts and what chance did Ealham have ?  What I
like about ME, apart from the fact that he's scored a couple of 50's (vs Pak and Aus, no mugs
there), is that he's one of about three English bowlers who can actually swing the ball, which
makes hime far more than just another trundler.  

Maybe Stewart will have different ideas.  Then again probably not.

--
Mike Gooding

        "You're pretty brave in ***space, flameboy"
        "Step inside"

 
 
 

Graeme Hick- how he nearly hit me

Post by Chris Westo » Wed, 13 May 1998 04:00:00



Quote:




>> > Sigh. That Mark Ealham. He may be compact, but he's soooo butch.

>> And he should be playing for England.
>> --

>I couldn't agree more. He's a consistent middle order batsman and reliable
>bowler. I know there is an argument against all-rounders, but when you get
>to six in the batting order, and Ealham's coming out to bat, you know
>you've got one more chance to notch up a decent score. I hope he gets
>picked for the one dayers, at least, but I'd like to see him back on the
>test side. Can't see where he went wrong in the Ashes tour. (In 'Ashes
>Summer', Hussain comments that the Ozzies privately expressed surprise and
>relief when he was dropped)

AAARRGH!!!  NO!!
For crying out loud NO!
The Aussies were *joking*!  Mark Ealham, fine county player that he is,
is *not* a test player.  He might get twenty odd runs, but he is no more
an test-class all rounder than Derek Pringle was.  Pringle was a good
player too, but not up to it at the highest level.

Sorry, but it really upsets me when people want Ealham in the test team.
Dibbly dobbly bowling be damned!  That's why we lose test matches.  
There IS an argument against all-rounders, that's true, as England have
striven to find a replacement for Botham.  The all-rounder's position
is a pivotal one, and only a truly class player, a la Beefy can fill
it properly.  All of the recent candidates (Lewis, Pringle, Irani,
Ealham, Hollioake) and many many more, have been either proficient in
either batting OR bowling or neither.  You can fudge it a bit, and have
two all-rounders like Ealham and Lewis,  say, and get perhaps 40 runs
per innings and 4 wickets, but you tend to weaken your bowling with
the result that we need to make a big score with two poor batsmen when
we need one good one.

Sorry about the rant, but this is a touchy area with me.

But I'm a professional.  I'll rise above it.

Cheers,
--
Chris Weston

 
 
 

Graeme Hick- how he nearly hit me

Post by rams10 » Wed, 13 May 1998 04:00:00

Quote:





> > > Can't see where he went wrong in the Ashes tour. (In 'Ashes
> > > Summer', Hussain comments that the Ozzies privately expressed surprise and
> > > relief when he was dropped)

> I think what happened was that Athers said 'well, he hasn't done much with the ball' (neatly
> forgetting that he had only bowled Ealham for about three overs during the series).  And there
> was a great (i.e. in the media) desire to see anyone called Hollioake in the team.  Add the
> obvious appeal of the Hollioakes' aggressive haircuts and what chance did Ealham have ?  What I
> like about ME, apart from the fact that he's scored a couple of 50's (vs Pak and Aus, no mugs
> there), is that he's one of about three English bowlers who can actually swing the ball, which
> makes hime far more than just another trundler.  

> Maybe Stewart will have different ideas.  Then again probably not.

> --
> Mike Gooding

>    "You're pretty brave in ***space, flameboy"
>    "Step inside"

Got to agree with you there. Mark Ealham is without doubt the best
all-rounder in the country at the moment- excellent fielder, solid
batsman and a highly effective seamer. The problem was that Atherton
didn't bowl him enough last summer- I think he might be quite a
handful against the S. Africans, as his lower trajectory, wicket to
wicket line and ability to swing the ball late make him ideally suited
to English conditions.

Rob

"And the bitter sweats, and the wild regrets,
 None knew so well as I :
 For he who lives more lives than one,
 More deathes than one must die."
                          (The Ballad of Reading Gaol)

 
 
 

Graeme Hick- how he nearly hit me

Post by Colin Rosenth » Wed, 13 May 1998 04:00:00

On Tue, 12 May 1998 11:27:50 +0100,

Quote:

>On the theme of Hicky batting, I thought my 3 score years and ten might
>be about to be terminated prematurely in a Sunday league match at New
>Road last season.

Wasn't there a case once of a spectator at a first-class match catching
the ball twice off successive deliveries?

--
Colin Rosenthal
High Altitude Observatory
Boulder, Colorado

 
 
 

Graeme Hick- how he nearly hit me

Post by John Hal » Wed, 13 May 1998 04:00:00


Quote:

>Standing on the boundary having a quiet fag

I'd better explain to any American readers that in England a "fag" is a
cigarette!
--
John Hall
          "If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come
           sit next to me."
                                 Alice Roosevelt Longworth (1884-1980)
 
 
 

Graeme Hick- how he nearly hit me

Post by Clare & J » Wed, 13 May 1998 04:00:00

Graeme put a huge dent in this guys car at New Road so he moved it to what
he thought was a safer place when a few minutes later he sent a missile
through the windscreen!!!! I personally thought it was hilarious especially
since it wasn't my car! Hick also dented my brothers car with a six he
hit!!
Clare

 
 
 

Graeme Hick- how he nearly hit me

Post by Jackie Hewit » Wed, 13 May 1998 04:00:00

Quote:






> >> > Sigh. That Mark Ealham. He may be compact, but he's soooo butch.

> >> And he should be playing for England.
> >> --

> >I couldn't agree more. He's a consistent middle order batsman and reliable
> >bowler. I know there is an argument against all-rounders, but when you get
> >to six in the batting order, and Ealham's coming out to bat, you know
> >you've got one more chance to notch up a decent score. I hope he gets
> >picked for the one dayers, at least, but I'd like to see him back on the
> >test side. Can't see where he went wrong in the Ashes tour. (In 'Ashes
> >Summer', Hussain comments that the Ozzies privately expressed surprise and
> >relief when he was dropped)

> AAARRGH!!!  NO!!
> For crying out loud NO!
> The Aussies were *joking*!  Mark Ealham, fine county player that he is,
> is *not* a test player.  He might get twenty odd runs, but he is no more
> an test-class all rounder than Derek Pringle was.  Pringle was a good
> player too, but not up to it at the highest level.

> Sorry, but it really upsets me when people want Ealham in the test team.
> Dibbly dobbly bowling be damned!  That's why we lose test matches.
> There IS an argument against all-rounders, that's true, as England have
> striven to find a replacement for Botham.  The all-rounder's position
> is a pivotal one, and only a truly class player, a la Beefy can fill
> it properly.  All of the recent candidates (Lewis, Pringle, Irani,
> Ealham, Hollioake) and many many more, have been either proficient in
> either batting OR bowling or neither.  You can fudge it a bit, and have
> two all-rounders like Ealham and Lewis,  say, and get perhaps 40 runs
> per innings and 4 wickets, but you tend to weaken your bowling with
> the result that we need to make a big score with two poor batsmen when
> we need one good one.

> Sorry about the rant, but this is a touchy area with me.

> But I'm a professional.  I'll rise above it.

> Cheers,
> --
> Chris Weston

Heard the latest from The Pavillion End on Sky tonight- Jack Simmons
thinks

<fanfare>
Ian Austin bowls line and lenght and should play for England
</fanfare>

Aaaaagggghhhhhhhh

No wonder we lose!
--
Jackie Hewitt

Courtney Walsh's Biggest Fan

See my tribute to Courtney

http://users.ox.ac.uk/~jackieh/courtney_walsh.html

 
 
 

Graeme Hick- how he nearly hit me

Post by Lind » Wed, 13 May 1998 04:00:00


Quote:


> >Standing on the boundary having a quiet fag

> I'd better explain to any American readers that in England a "fag" is a
> cigarette!

Mind you, if you mentioned this in the MCC they'd probably think you meant
a young  boy bearing marmite on toast who wasn't very talkative.

Linda

Quote:
> --
> John Hall
>           "If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come
>            sit next to me."
>                                  Alice Roosevelt Longworth (1884-1980)

 
 
 

Graeme Hick- how he nearly hit me

Post by Lind » Wed, 13 May 1998 04:00:00

Quote:


> >I hope he (Mark Ealham) gets
> >picked for the one dayers, at least, but I'd like to see him back on the
> >test side. Can't see where he went wrong in the Ashes tour. (In 'Ashes
> >Summer', Hussain comments that the Ozzies privately expressed surprise
> >and relief when he was dropped)

> AAARRGH!!!  NO!!
> For crying out loud NO!
> The Aussies were *joking*!  Mark Ealham, fine county player that he is,
> is *not* a test player.  He might get twenty odd runs, but he is no more
> an test-class all rounder than Derek Pringle was.  Pringle was a good
> player too, but not up to it at the highest level.

> Sorry, but it really upsets me when people want Ealham in the test team.
> Dibbly dobbly bowling be damned!  That's why we lose test matches.  

Give me the gun, Chris (soothingly said).
Now I see your point, but on the other hand, how many times did you bite
the cushion when England reached the beginning of the long tail in the WI?
How many were there in the middle/lower order who you knew could go out
there and hold their ground when we were in trouble? (eg, Thorpe's loony
run out of Hussain - total collapse). I'm not saying Ealham is the saviour
we're looking for, as was said about (ugh) Hollioake, just that he didn't
do much wrong when he was on the test side, playing in English conditions -
as has been mentioned. And, hey, there wasn't much dibbly dobbly about 3
for 20 (if I remember rightly) on Sat.

Quote:
> There IS an argument against all-rounders, that's true, as England have
> striven to find a replacement for Botham.  The all-rounder's position
> is a pivotal one, and only a truly class player, a la Beefy can fill
> it properly.  All of the recent candidates (Lewis, Pringle, Irani,
> Ealham, Hollioake) and many many more, have been either proficient in
> either batting OR bowling or neither.  You can fudge it a bit, and have
> two all-rounders like Ealham and Lewis,  say, and get perhaps 40 runs
> per innings and 4 wickets, but you tend to weaken your bowling with
> the result that we need to make a big score with two poor batsmen when
> we need one good one.

See your point, but I don't think Ealham's a poor batsman. You could argue
that a flashy batsman who can hit 207 but is likely as not to be out early
lbw because he can't work out which way to face at the crease needs to be
backed up by someone with a bit more fortitude. Regretfully, I don't think
Ealham will be picked for the test side - I think they'll go with a long
tail - so I'm preparing a pile of cushions to chew through.

Quote:
> Sorry about the rant, but this is a touchy area with me.

You can get cream for that.

Quote:
> But I'm a professional.  I'll rise above it.

Great. Can I have the gun now?

Linda

 
 
 

Graeme Hick- how he nearly hit me

Post by Mike Rochfor » Thu, 14 May 1998 04:00:00

Chris Weston wrote

Quote:

>AAARRGH!!!  NO!!
>For crying out loud NO!
>The Aussies were *joking*!  Mark Ealham, fine county player that he is,
>is *not* a test player.  He might get twenty odd runs, but he is no more
>an test-class all rounder than Derek Pringle was.  Pringle was a good
>player too, but not up to it at the highest level.

>Sorry, but it really upsets me when people want Ealham in the test team.
>Dibbly dobbly bowling be damned!  That's why we lose test matches.
>There IS an argument against all-rounders, that's true, as England have
>striven to find a replacement for Botham.  The all-rounder's position
>is a pivotal one, and only a truly class player, a la Beefy can fill
>it properly.  All of the recent candidates (Lewis, Pringle, Irani,
>Ealham, Hollioake) and many many more, have been either proficient in
>either batting OR bowling or neither.  You can fudge it a bit, and have
>two all-rounders like Ealham and Lewis,  say, and get perhaps 40 runs
>per innings and 4 wickets, but you tend to weaken your bowling with
>the result that we need to make a big score with two poor batsmen when
>we need one good one.

Adding to this, there seems to be a dearth of genuine all-rounders in the
world at the moment. People often talk of South Africa as a side full of
all-rounders, I would say that S.A. has a number of bowlers who can bat
(Klusener, Symcox) and a number of batsmen who can bowl (Cronje, Kallis and
if picked - MacMillan) but only one genuine all-rounder in Pollock. Even he
is a far batter bowler than batsman.

I would much rather pick a team with the six best batsmen and the four best
bowlers and one keeper than attempting to find an allrounder.

The S.A. test side is a good example.

Best batsmen - Kirsten, Liebenberg/Bacher, Kallis, Cullinan, Cronje, Mac.
Keeper - Boucher
Bowlers - Pollock, Klusener, Donald, Adams.

The added bonusses of Kallis, Cronje, Mac, Pollock, and Klusener are just
that- Bonusses. They are not picked for anything other than their primary
skill.

Mike.