Subject: Re: If Sampras gets an Emmy, then Graf wins an Oscar
Date: Mon, 16 Sep 1996 21:21:17 -0400
> As far as faking an injury to stay out of the AO, Duh..she had
>surgery. Let me guess she faked that too.
You didn't know. She was faking it. She was in a highly secretive meeting
in a highly secluded area with Chad. She hired Chad as her manager ever
since Monica's come back(actually he was with her before, but tried to
sneak into Monica's camp but was butted out so went back to Graf). No
matter what she did she came under no public applause. Monica was getting
all the sympathy.
So she gave her public persona to Chad and asked him to dissect and put
his scalplel to use. And Chad has a very good sense of pulse(public's) and
could diagnoise why the pulse was low.
And Chad with his penchant for hypo(chondirac)crisy said to Graf. :-)
You don't have grunt. People don't talk about you.
You are not over weight. So people don't talk about you.
You are not obsessed with luck. So people don't talk about you.
You don't do ***. So people don't talk about you.
You ain't stabbed. So people don't talk about you.
And then she asked him, in order for people to talk about her which of
the above she needed to pick up.
And Chad said they already pick on ur NOSE.
She sobbed! Mind you not wet eyes. But actual down pour, deluge, flodding
of tears. ( He has it on video )!
Then he said I gotta crack jokes. Otherwise how can I laugh. I can't laugh
at anybody elses jokes. So I gotta create my own humour.
And then, with all his psychic powers, he said you gotta do something new.
He gave her lot of options. But all of them flopped, 'cause she was not
He finally was so distraught, he yelled and said,
CAN YOU ATLEAST FAKE FOR PETE"S SAKE !!!!!!!!!!!
And she said, I know nothing about taxes!! WAAAAAAAAA !!!
Now it was Chad's turn to widen his eyes. He pulled at his hair(I am
guessing he has some).
Steffi had to explain. She thought when Chad said that, she thought
he(Chad) wanted her to fake(lie) for Pete's (Her father's - Peter Graf)
He screamed NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO !!!!
Graf scratched her head. Chad then suggested she scratch her nose. A
bulb/ring came over Graf's head and disappeared as quickly.
She then says, what's in it for me.
Chad by now has started grunting and screaming and whatnotting.
He said your popularity is in it for you. People talking about you is in
it for you. We are having this discussion for that reason.
She gives a daffy duck look and asks, why would all that happen if I
fake(lie) for Pete(Sampras)!!
You would think at this point our good old(or young - at heart or
maturity) friend Chad would walk away and disappear. But NOO.
He pain stakingly explained to her in non-MIME format. He said, you gotta,
gotta make up something that ain't true.
She said with glint in her eyes, So you wanna make me a fake, and
giggled(uncontrollably of course).
He siad yeah.
She then said, that's a piece of cake and giggled again.
But you see guys, Chad wasn't seeing(oops hearing) anything funny. So he
still has that, look at me, i am intelligent because there are wrinkles on
my forehead look.
ok, enough stupidity. Listen to me. You gonna make up injuries.
She said how?
he said, you bozo, just leak thru to the press(of course thru me i.e.) you
have some injuries.
But she says, I have none, with a quizzical look.
He then says, make fake cake sake lake take bake waaaaaaaaaaa!!!
he starts sobbing. ALMOST.
He says, you are gonna get a period in the midst of a final.
She says how!
He says, you just pretend you do.
She claps are hands and in childful glee says you mean fake, don't u, ha
ha don't you.
With a smug look that actually matches his mug he says YES.
He then says, you are gonna be allergic to clay
And then we are gonna use the, THE, band aid.
She says she likes the band ( metallica).
So now all of you know. Why Graf is using the same f_king injury. Wait a
second u dirty minds. I only said one blank. And there is an 'a' in that
balnk making it faking.
Graf has been using the same injury as an excuse again and agian, becuase
after graf's last crack at the band aid, Chad ran, he ran so fast, but
returned to Graf(out of loyalty - DAA) and said no, not a musical band you
dim wit, medical bandaid you put on injuries. He wished he had checked his
client's third grade diploma, but was felling l'lle insecure(HE HASN"T
CHECKED HIS OWN U SEE).
She as usual was gonna say, I get to fake injuries and put bandaid on
them. VOW .
Mommy, Daddy, oops and Chaddy I am gonna be popular. La La La La LAALA.
So until Chad gets into the groove and gives her a new way to milk public
sympathy and be talked about, poor unitelligent Graf will keep on using
the same accsued(Faked) excuse.
So Chad buddy, Graf needs a new one. Please help her out. Institutions do
let their tenants do consulting work over telephone. I guess so atleast.
By the way folks this entire article was a lift off of yesterday's
(C)HA(R)D COPY !!!!!!
don't flame me because i am flammable - aronda
PS:- CHAD, All in fun so don't draw ur gun