No its not a typo...
I have just finished reading a rather hilarious book entitled :"The Art
Of Coarse Sailing" by Michael Green. It follows the misadventures of a
bunch of coarse (read hopeless) sailors who have no idea how to sail
yachts andd the trouble that gets them into I quote:
"Quiet Dawn turned into the wind and started to drift sideways towards
the railway bridge at an alarming rate... Meanwhile Dennis was trying to
restore steerage way looking rather like an ancient phonecian oarsman.
Arthur was pumping the tiller to bring the bows around and shouting at
Joan to start paddling with the deck mop." Suffice to say they dimast
But it got me thinking about my own sailboarding coarse moments, and the
one I have seen. As an instructor and sailboard shop employee I get to
see more than one or two, so perhaps I will begin what I hope will be a
A female student, despite repeated warnings NOT to go near the pier,
sails right up to it and rams it. A wave lifts the board and rig up,
hooking the boom over a post. She falls off, leaving the rig hung up on
the post. Another wave comes, dislodges the rig, and it lands on her
A customer goes sailing with his new fin. He returns telling me it is
the worst thing he has ever used and that he wants his money back. I go
out to his car to have a look at the board. I take the fin cover off and
he says-"Oh is that just a cover?" hmmm nice one.
A caller rings a workmate to ask if there are harness lines he could put
around his body as he can't afford a harness and would that work? We
A workmate tries to repair his board in a hurry. He mixes polyester
resin with epoxy hardner-to little effect.
I rescued a guy who had lost his rig. I asked how this had come about
and he said "My head turban came off, and I decided to re rig out here
in the water, but when I detatched my base, a wave pulled it out of my
hands and it sank to the bottom".
I got plenty more folks....
Instructor, competitor, drinker, bum.
Thomas H Reynolds-
" I don't know. . . this is all complete bollocks"
- Eddie Hitler