Learn how to make at least $100,000 in 60 days--legally

Learn how to make at least $100,000 in 60 days--legally

Post by levend » Tue, 29 Aug 1995 04:00:00


ARTICLE: SHIT NICKELS FAST!

Dear Friends,

My name is Greg Bulmash and I've got an amazing story to tell you, a story
that can make you RICH BEYOND YOUR WILDEST DREAMS!

One day I was walking down the beach and I found a lamp.  Rubbing it on my
sweatpants, an amazing thing happened.  A genie appeared.  He told me he
had come to make me an AMAZING, INCREDIBLE, ONE TIME OFFER!  All I had to
do was***people off and for every person who started to hate me a nickel
would fall out of my ass.

Well, I was skeptical at first.  I mean, come on, shitting nickels?  But I
decided to give it a try.  I wrapped my brain around the problem to figure
out how I could make as many enemies as possible in the shortest amount of
time and it hit me...  A chain letter, an ostensibly illegal pyramid scheme
posted in totally inappropriate newsgroup hierarchies like soc.*, rec.*,
any personals group, or best of all, a binaries group where text posts are
TOTALLY unwanted.  Well, I went back to that genie and said I needed a
little incentive to get people to duplicate my annoying spam.

Yes folks, the genie listened and he has EXTENDED THE OFFER TO EVERYONE!  
Yes, now you too can SHIT NICKELS FOR FUN AND PROFIT!  And better than
that, if anyone copies the post from you and posts it themselves, NOT ONLY
WILL THEY SHIT NICKELS, BUT FOR EVERY NICKEL THEY SHIT, YOU'LL SHIT A
PENNY!  

Let's look at the math with EASY TO GET responses:

With a conservative estimate of a million people on the net, assume half of
those read your post and of that half, 85% of those people hate you...

    that's 21,250 - OVER TWENTY-ONE THOUSAND DOLLARS... RIGHT OFF THE BAT!

And those people can be used over and over again.  Let's say that just one
other person copies this letter from your post and reposts everywhere,
getting JUST AS MANY PEOPLE PISSED OFF!!!  Even if they're the same people
who got pissed off at _you_, that's still going to mean ANOTHER $4,250
DROPPING RIGHT OUT OF YOUR ASS!!!!  PYRAMID SCHEMES RUN OUT, GET
OVERSATURATED, EVENTUALLY THERE'S NO ONE LEFT... BUT THIS PLAN IS
FOOLPROOF, UNLIMITED, THIS LETTER CAN***PEOPLE OFF OVER AND OVER AND
OVER, AND YOU'LL GET RICHER EVERY SINGLE TIME!!!!

Yes, with just ONE LETTER AND NO FINANCIAL INVESTMENT WHATSOEVER you can
make OVER TWENTY-FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS!!!  Of course, you'll have to clean
the feces off the coins, count, and roll them.  But that's nothing when you
consider ALL THE MONEY THAT BEING AN *** MADE COME OUT OF YOUR ***!

Trust me folks, it works.  It's a proven fact that if you post pyramid
scheme letters in all sorts of places PEOPLE WILL HATE YOU!  They'll send
you mail bombs, complain to your postmaster, call you all sorts of names,
BUT YOU'LL BE LAUGHING ALL THE WAY TO THE BANK WITH ***COVERED COINS
COMING OUT OF YOUR PANTS!

----------------------------------------------------------------------
Read these testimonials from a few satisfied posters!

    Dear Greg,
      I never thought it possible, but you were right.  Ever since I posted
      your Shit.Nickels letter, so many people have been getting pissed at
      me that the nickels have just been flying out of my ass!  I even made
      a game out of it.  I set a basketball hoop up over my toilet and I
      just bend over and let those nickels go.  For every one that makes it
      through the hoop, I get two points.  I've become the Michael Jordan
      of nickel shitters.  And yesterday, I started shitting pennies.
                   THANK YOU!  THANK YOU!  THANK YOU!

                              Sincerely,
                                B.A. Schmuck
                                Fort Wayne, Indiana

    Dear Greg,
      Thanks again for your suggestion about lubing up with Vaseline or KY
      Jelly.  After those thousands of nickels shooting out of it, my
      *** was geting sooo sore.  But I'm sore no more and I'm rich as
      Croesus to boot.  Thanks for touching my life and my ass.

                               Yours Always,
                                 Cherry B. Toodles
                                 Los Angeles, California
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Yes, folks, you too can become RICH BEYOND YOUR WILDEST DREAMS!  Copy this
post everywhere, make people hate you, and you'll shit nickels too!  Send

in the next version!

[chain letter parody; author takes no responsibility for idiots who repost
this and cannot be held liable for any nickel shitting related injuries]

--levendis

"I am just a worthless liar. I am just an imbecile. I will only complicate you. Trust in me and fall as well." -- _Sober_, Tool
"My plan is to get progressively more senile every day, over several years. That way, when I really am senile, no one will notice." -- me
----------

Join Me (Oedipus) on BayMOO: telnet baymoo.sfsu.edu 8888
Visit My Web Page: http://SportToday.org/~dstaffen/

 
 
 

Learn how to make at least $100,000 in 60 days--legally

Post by Tim Orde » Tue, 29 Aug 1995 04:00:00

Flame the bastards

 
 
 

Learn how to make at least $100,000 in 60 days--legally

Post by Research Dep » Wed, 30 Aug 1995 04:00:00

Hi,
I am trying to put together a list of newsgroups and mailing lists by
topic.  If you could send me names of any internet mailing lists related
to this group, I would appreciate it.

-Paul**********************
** MY COMPUTER WAS MAKING ME SICK.  If you are finding yourself
depressed, stressed, anxious, sluggish, or tired read the internet file
that changed my life.  _Don't hit reply_ send e-mail to

*****************************************************

 
 
 

Learn how to make at least $100,000 in 60 days--legally

Post by Val Shebe » Thu, 31 Aug 1995 04:00:00

Ladies and Gentlemen, really !


Quote:
>Piss off, Fatboy.

 
 
 

Learn how to make at least $100,000 in 60 days--legally

Post by Ivar Brinkm » Thu, 31 Aug 1995 04:00:00

Quote:

>Hi,
>I am trying to put together a list of newsgroups and mailing lists by
>topic.  If you could send me names of any internet mailing lists related
>to this group, I would appreciate it.

Hi. why don't you stop cross-posting those silly messages?
We would appreciate it.

STEVE AUSTIN
(A man barely alive)
======================


 
 
 

Learn how to make at least $100,000 in 60 days--legally

Post by Stefan Heye » Sat, 02 Sep 1995 04:00:00

I hope someone will "legally" get your ass
 
 
 

Learn how to make at least $100,000 in 60 days--legally

Post by U.T.S. Student At Broadway Campus » Tue, 26 Sep 1995 04:00:00

Greetings my friend


please inform me!!!