Scotty's last day on earth

Scotty's last day on earth

Post by Harry Weine » Sat, 05 Feb 2005 10:14:42


RIIIIING!

SH:  "Suicide Hotline"

SA:  "My name is Scott Abraham, and I'm considering suicide."

SH:  Scott Abraham?  You've been on Suicide Watch for months.  It's
about time you called.  It says on my computer that you own guns.  Do
you have a loaded gun in your hand?

SA:  Yes.  I always carry a gun.

SH:  Good.  Listen carefully.  Put the muzzle in your mouth, and point
it up to the roof of your mouth, and carefully squeeze the trigger.

SA:  Aren't you supposed to be talking me out of suicide?

SH:  Not you.  It says on my computer that you're a worthless piece of
shit, with no redeeming qualities.  It says here that even losers look
down on you.  I even get a bonus if you kill yourself while talking to
me.  It says that you've ***ed your mother, your brother, sheep, and
carney freaks.  You have no friends, and you live in your mother's
ba***t.  Something about being an oxygen thief, and you enjoy
imitating a talking urinal.  The only good thing about you is that
homeless winos that are panhandling can carry signs that say, "At
least I'm not Scott Abraham."  

SH:  now, do you have that gun in your mouth?  I'm trying to earn that
bonus.


My T-shirt says, "This shirt is the
ultimate power in the universe."

 
 
 

Scotty's last day on earth

Post by Dick Goziny » Sat, 05 Feb 2005 10:46:25

On Thu, 03 Feb 2005 20:14:42 -0500, Harry

Quote:

>RIIIIING!

>SH:  "Suicide Hotline"

>SA:  "My name is Scott Abraham, and I'm considering suicide."

>SH:  Scott Abraham?  You've been on Suicide Watch for months.  It's
>about time you called.  It says on my computer that you own guns.  Do
>you have a loaded gun in your hand?

>SA:  Yes.  I always carry a gun.

>SH:  Good.  Listen carefully.  Put the muzzle in your mouth, and point
>it up to the roof of your mouth, and carefully squeeze the trigger.

>SA:  Aren't you supposed to be talking me out of suicide?

>SH:  Not you.  It says on my computer that you're a worthless piece of
>shit, with no redeeming qualities.  It says here that even losers look
>down on you.  I even get a bonus if you kill yourself while talking to
>me.  It says that you've ***ed your mother, your brother, sheep, and
>carney freaks.  You have no friends, and you live in your mother's
>ba***t.  Something about being an oxygen thief, and you enjoy
>imitating a talking urinal.  The only good thing about you is that
>homeless winos that are panhandling can carry signs that say, "At
>least I'm not Scott Abraham."  

>SH:  now, do you have that gun in your mouth?  I'm trying to earn that
>bonus.


>My T-shirt says, "This shirt is the
>ultimate power in the universe."

More!

"I am Homer of Borg. You will be assim...ooooohhh, donut"!