and then a spinning date of 4/5/00 flashes on the screen as out of nowhere we
see shots of the most recent Midweek Massacre...>></I>
<B>The Kink:</B> Introducing first....here is........SPIDER HAWK!!!!!
<I><<Hawk jumps from behind the curtain, looking as insane as ever>></I>
<B>Joey Morella:</B> And here's Spider H--WHOAA!!!!
<I><<Impact charges out and crushes Spider Hawk in the back with a
<B>Johnny Heenan:</B> What's Impact doing!?
<B>Joey Morella:</B> He's beating the snot out of Spider Hawk--litteraly! I
just saw a boogie fly!!! This has got to be due to the last time these two
<B>Johnny Heenan:</B> You're right Joey!!
<I><<Impact slams Hawk's head into the guardrail, but Hawk fights back and
slams Impact's in return!!>></I>
<B>Johnny Heenan:</B> Mr. Varona had as much sense teaming these two up again
as he would with Ruiner and Nephilim again! Or Man and Train!
<B>Joey Morella:</B> And these two are..wait..DOMINATE!!! DOMINATE!!!
<I><<The crowd goes NUTTY!!!! John Dominate sprints out and charges at Spider
Hawk and Impact!!>></I>
<B>Joey Morella:</B> Dominate just tackled Impact against the outer apron!!
Dominate and Impact are brawling away!! And Spider Hawk is in the fray as
well!! This is ludacrous...we're supposed to have a match! And look at
Tropical Storm in the ring.. they're just kind of laughing at the three outside
as they lean over the ropes!
<B>Johnny Heenan:</B> As I would be too Joey! That way, I wouldn't have to
fight any of those damn monsters. Except for Dominate, he's kinda nice.
<B>Joey Morella:</B> Yes. Jesus, Hawk's been busted open...he rams John's and
Impact's heads together!!! This is so completely crazy!!!
<I><<The crowd gets on their feet again!!>></I>
<B>Joey Morella:</B> The hell? Who's that!?
<I><<Two masked men walk out and pass up all of the action as they get to
ringside and begin to shout at Tropical Storm>></I>
<B>Johnny Heenan:</B> Hey.. I think those are the guys who beat up Danzig last
week!!! What're they--
<I><<The two men walk down to the ring, still pointing and shouting at Tropical
Storm until the Storm starts yelling back and asking them to get the hell in
<B>Joey Morella:</B> Looks like we ARE going to have a match tonight!!!
<I><<As the two get closer to the ring, the crowd POPS again!!>></I>
<B>Johnny Heenan:</B> The man!!
<B>Joey Morella:</B> It's Mr. Varona!!!! Our president!! And--whoa--look at
all those cops!!
<I><<Mr. Varona points forward and about a dozen security and badged men run at
the two masked men, holding them back from entering the ring>></I>
<B>Joey Morella: And Mr. Varona doesn't want this to happen!? Not now or here
anyway!! We're sorry folks this is very odd...we'll see you this weekend on
Weekend Warriors!! Goodnight!!</B>
<I><<Scene fades back to black and then out of nowhere....>></I>
<I><<The RAW hard rock theme music blasts and fireworks, signs, *** women,
and twelve men dressed in tight leather pants with the ass cheeks cut out start
going wild!! As the camera pans the chaos and pandemonium, we see people
getting *** with large vegetables as they try to get on TV. Most of them are
not getting on TV, but I don't think they care! Some signs are
spotted...."Roleplayers Needed!".... ...."The Order of the Hammer!"...and
"Let's get ready to ROCK!" are some that are shown. The camera now zooms down
towards the announcer's booth where three men already sitting in their
announcing positions are shown with headsets on and ready to go with this great
<B>Joey Morella:</B> Welcome fans to another bum***ing edition of Weekend
<B>Arny Bishoff:</B> Hee, hee...
<B>Joey Morella:</B> I'm your host, Joey Morella and with me as always is the
Iranian Nectar Drinking Champion of the Midwest....
<I><<Bishoff is laughing and marking out for Joey's lame joke as Vic Studd has
a look on his face of complete boredom>></I>
<B>Joey Morella:</B> Here is...Arny Bishoff!
<B>Arny Bishoff:</B> Hee, hee...thanks Joey! I'm here tonight all e***d!
<B>Vic Studd:</B> Keep away from me then you damn homo.
<B>Joey Morella:</B> For those of you who aren't familiar with that loveable
voice, that's the leader of the VwO and..
<B>Vic Studd:</B> Shut the hell up Morella! Everyone knows who Vic Studd is!
Everyone knows who the VwO are! And...everyone knows that tonight, the big
man...Train, will return the RAW World Championship to the stable of
champions...Vic World Order!
<B>Arny Bishoff:</B> Well Vic, I really think that Nephilim and Ruiner are more
than capable of winning the title in the Round-Robin Rampage.
<B>Vic Studd:</B> Oh yeah? Well, I think that you are more than capable of
having sex with more than one male *** at a time!
<B>Arny Bishoff:</B> Hey, how did you find out about...I mean, what are you
<B>Joey Morella:</B> Guys...come on now...this is a family show! Sheesh...at
any rate, we have a great show lined up folks! Tonight...we will crown a new
RAW World Champion!
<B>Arny Bishoff:</B> Yeah! And it's in Round-Robin format which has never been
done before here in Real American Wrestling!
<B>Vic Studd:</B> Big deal...Train will win it! The VwO will once again rule
all of wrestling!
<B>Joey Morella:</B> Well, that's being a bit biased don't you think Mr Studd?
<B>Vic Studd:</B> Morella?
<B>Joey Morella:</B> Yes?
<B>Vic Studd:</B> BITE ME! BITE ME YOUR JAW LOCKS IN PLACE!!
<B>Joey Morella:</B> Victor K Studd! My goodness....I'm sorry about that fans.
Anyways, like we were saying...tonight is gonna be great! Not only will we see
Nephilim, Ruiner, and Train going at it Round-Robin Rampage style, but we will
also have the big match that a lot of folks have been waiting for...the rights
to the AFTERMATH name matchup!
<B>Arny Bishoff:</B> Yeah! Finally that dirty man Mr Starbuck will get his from
the *** Bastard!
<B>Vic Studd:</B> I've got sleeping penciled in during that time slot.
<B>Joey Morella:</B> That's not nice Vic.
<B>Arny Bishoff:</B> I personally think that it will be a great matchup!
Mystical Lord will probably beat Shane Starbuck and then probably present Mr
Varona with the rights of the name right back! Should be a great moment!
<B>Joey Morella:</B> Well Arny, that would be great! But first, we have a very
special interview lined up....
<B>Vic Studd:</B> Gee...let me guess...<I><<As he says
sarcastically>></I>....Could it be the great man Mr Varona?
<B>Arny Bishoff:</B> I sure hope so Vic!
<I><<Vic rolls his eyes and just keeps quiet>></I>
<B>Joey Morella:</B> We'll see....first, let's take it to the Kink who is ready
to start things off here tonight.....Kink?
<B>The Kink:</B> Ladies and gentlemen....welcome to....WEEKEND WARRIORS!!
<I><<Fans are screaming from the anticipation of the RAW World Championship
being on the line tonight>></I>
<B>The Kink:</B> At this time, I would like to introduce to you.....accompanied
to ringside by the former RAW IC Champion.....JOHN DOMINATE!!
<I><<Fans cheer for Dominate>></I>
<B>The Kink:</B> Here is your president and mine... .....MR VARONA!!
<I><<Fans go wild as the RAW hard rock theme music blasts over the loud
speakers. Then, we see Dominate step through the curtains and part them for Mr
Varona as the crowd pops even louder when they see them>></I>
<B>Joey Morella:</B> There he is!
<B>Arny Bishoff:</B> What a great man! YEAH!!! WOO HOO!!!
<I><<Bishoff goes to mark out and stand on top of his chair as Vic pulls it out
from underneath his foot just as he is going to step on it and he goes down
like a $2 Tiawanese *** covered in MUSTARD>></I>
<B>Joey Morella:</B> Oh my goodness! What happened Arny?
<B>Vic Studd:</B> BWAHAHAHA!!
<I><<We hear Arny fumbling with his headset as Joey helps him up and Vic is
laughing his ass off>></I>
<B>Arny Bishoff:</B> Oww...
<B>Joey Morella:</B> Vic, did you do something?
<B>Vic Studd:</B> ...umm...No.
<B>Joey Morella:</B> Very convincing there Mr Studd.
<I><<Mr Varona and John Dominate reach ringside and are climbing up to the ring
apron using the steel steps as we see in the background Arny getting helped up
<B>Arny Bishoff:</B> Thanks Joey. Whoa...that was quite a spill I took.
<B>Joey Morella:</B> You sure did Arny. But, right now we have Mr Varona ready
to speak! So, let's go to him!
<I><<The Kink hands the microphone to Mr Varona as he grabs it and looks out
upon the fans with a smile on his face and Dominate standing a bit behind with
his arms folded>></I>
<B>Mr Varona:</B> Fans of RAW....
<B>Mr Varona/Arny/Joey/Kink/Fans:</B> HOW ARE YA!!
<I><<Fans cheer as Mr Varona smiles again as the catch phrase is catching
<B>Vic Studd:</B> Spare me...
<B>Mr Varona:</B> Fans, tonight is kinda special.....you see, tonight we are
going to witness first hand the coronation of the 1st RAW World Champion of the
Millenium! The 1st RAW2K World Champion...if you will!
<B>Mr Varona:</B> But, that's not the only reason that tonight will be special.
Along with the new World Champion being crowned....an old thorn in my side will
be removed! That's right...."SuperNatural" Shane Starbuck will go down!
And...he is here tonight!
<B>Mr Varona:</B> Tonight, I put my faith in a wrestler who is not only the
"*** Bastard" of RAW....but, is also a former RAW World Champion! Mystical
Lord will be rewarded nicely for his duty that he is doing tonight! And..he
will deserve it!
<I><<Fans pop as Mr Varona continues to walk around the ring and look out upon
them and wave>></I>
<B>Mr Varona:</B> Well, I'm sure that you are all as e***d as I am to get
things started.... so, why don't we get things...
<I><<Mr Varona is interrupted by Nephilim's music as he stops and puts his
hands on his hips and looks towards the curtains>></I>
<B>Joey Morella:</B> Oh my...that's The Fallen One's music and....there he is!
Along with Angelique!
<B>Vic Studd:</B> Oh yeah! I wanna get Chinky-fied! I love me some China Girl!
<I><<Nephilim motions slowly towards the rafters with his right hand as the
music dies down and he stands at the top of the ramp as Angelique hands him a
<B>Nephilim:</B> Many have regarded tonight's matchup as somewhat of the new
guard versus the establishment. Some have said that I've got some of
that...what do they call it?...<I><<He asks the question while looking at
Angelique and then looks back towards the ring>></I>...Oh yes...beginner's
luck. But, let me assure all of you...and especially you!
<I><<As he points at Mr Varona and John Dominate starts to step forward a bit
as he senses the tension building>></I>
<B>Nephilim:</B> Luck has nothing to do with what I will accomplish tonight. As
a matter of fact, I've been in this spot before....in the "big match" as you
promoters like to call it...and time and again not only have I proved to be
more than willing...but able to shoulder the pressure that can come about from
such a high profile matchup. But, I came out here tonight not to speak of how
capable I am...but, about how you will react...<I><<As he points to Mr Varona
again>></I>...when tonight....The Hammer Falls!
<I><<Nephilim drops the microphone and we hear the thump of it hitting the ramp
as he and Angelique leave through the curtains and we see John Dominate talking
to Mr Varona. Mr Varona is nodding and holding the microphone behind his back
so that no one hears the conversation. Then, he pulls the microphone back out
and speaks again>></I>
<B>Mr Varona:</B> Sorry about that interruption fans....so, are you ready?
<B>Mr Varona:</B> I said.....Are You Ready?!
<I><<Fans cheer louder>></I>
<B>Mr Varona:</B> Well then....let's have a great show everyone!!
<I><<Fans pop again as Mr Varona hands the microphone back to the Kink and
Dominate and him continue to speak all the way up the ramp and through the
<B>Joey Morella:</B> Well, well, well. Looks like Nephilim is ready to go
<B>Vic Studd:</B> Again I have to say...Train will win! Read my lips...Train
<B>Arny Bishoff:</B> How can you be so sure Vic?
<B>Vic Studd:</B> Bishoff...shut the hell up. The VwO has held so many titles
in the past and I've predicated them all! So, tonight....NostraSTUDDness will
once again be a prophet of profit!
<B>Joey Morella:</B> We'll see Vic. But for now I think that the Kink is ready
for tonight's opening and exciting matchup....