R.A.W. Real American Wrestling!! Weekend Warriors Part 1

R.A.W. Real American Wrestling!! Weekend Warriors Part 1

Post by ArnyV » Wed, 22 Apr 1998 04:00:00

Here is the first part of the card that we had this past Sunday. Just showing a
little bit of our style. If you'd like the rest of the card or any info on

R.A.W. Presents....

Live from***enballs, New Mexico.....


<<Fireworks are shooting to the rafters like hot loads in the freezing rain as
the fans are just going bonkers! The cameras are panning in and out of the
rambunctious crowd as they show signs people are bringing and also people
pushing the living snot out of each other just to be seen on TV>>

Joey Morella: Welcome everyone to another sack twisting edition of Weekend

<<Joey is standing next to two men holding their microphones as they stand in
front of the cameras>>

Joey Morella: I'm Joey Morella and as always we have our esteemed colleague,
the former R.A.W. president, Arny Bishoff! Arny, how you doing and what do you
think of tonight's card?

Arny Bishoff: Well Joey, I'm doing great! And we've got more action than an
action movie tonight! Ha, ha, ha!

<<Both Joey and Vic are standing their just looking at Arny who just made a
stupid joke. Vic then grabs his crotchial region and says....>>

Vic Studd: Arny.....Bite me! You suck! I can't believe the level of suckitude
that you are reaching by mearly showing that overbloated face of yours on
national TV!

Joey Morella: Nice vocabulary being shown by Mr Studd! Where did you learn
those big words Vic?

Vic Studd: Isn't your mother a teacher?

Joey Morella: Yes, but she's retired now.

Vic Studd: Not anymore! Well, let's just say that I got some free English
lessons last night....From Mrs Morella!

Joey Morella: Oh yeah? That's interesting.......There's another Mrs Morella
teaching in our area?

Vic Studd: No Joey, you don't seem to understand......your mother is a ***!

Joey Morella: Vic, I'm going to pretend that I didn't hear that. Well R.A.W.
fans we've got a great card tonight as we are going to see a great ***
match between the former R.A.W. Champ Mystical Lord taking on one of the
brightest stars that R.A.W. has seen in a while....Lost!

Vic Studd: Sucks...

<<Joey looks over at Vic with an annoyed look on his face and then speaks

Joey Morella: Also, we will see the new FACE DOWN combo as "Butterjaw" Bobo
Stankle and Major Lee Hung take on Sex and Love.

Vic Studd: Homos....

<<Arny puts a hand on Joey's shoulder as if he's telling him to calm down>>

Arny Bishoff: That's right Joey and we also have the big R.A.W. IC Championship
matchup as the R.A.W. Intercontinental Champion Ice Cream Man defends against
Bad Seeds member "Really Rad" Reggie Rock!

Vic Studd: They both suck....

Joey Morella: Damn it Vic! What the hell is wrong with you? Who doesn't suck in
your eyes? Huh!

Vic Studd: Your mother.....but, I'm trying to convince her that it's good for
her complexion! I'll get her yet!

<<Joey is fuming at this point and just rubs his temples for a moment before

Joey Morella: Okay....let's move on. I think that the Kink is ready and we are
going to start out the show with a.....

<<Joey is interrupted by the Triple ***'s music. The crowd is booing their
asses off for the very arrogant members. They are holding belts in the air and
spitting at the fans along with an occasional crotch grab here and there>>

Arny Bishoff: I still can't believe that Mr Man has turned on the R.A.W. fans
like this. I mean, that guy was someone that all the kids looked up to. And I
think that so many kids will be lead down the wrong path now that he has

<<Mr Man, Steven Seitz and Sean Martini are on the ring apron facing the large
video wall as they are looking at themselves in the video screen and Mr Man
asks for microphone from the Kink as they get in the ring>>

Mr Man: Is this thing on?....<<As he thumps the mic on his R.A.W. World
Championship belt>>......Hello?.....Oh, I see that it is working.....Shut up!
<<As he leans over the ropes for a moment yelling at the fans>>.....Now, first
things first.....How about you all just get on your knees and pay homage to the
greatest group of bad asses this side of this planet we call earth!

<<The fans are booing their asses off as the Triple *** holds their arms
up. Steven Seitz climbs up on one of the turnbuckles and rubs his belt as if
he's shining it up and the fans are throwing things at him>>

Mr Man: Now, I keep hearing this and that about.....<<As he starts talking with
a mocking voice>>.....Mr Man, why did you turn on the fans......Mr Man, why are
you treating Lene like that......Mr Man, why are your tights so full.....

<<Mr Man stops and the crowd is booing and they start up a chant>>

Crowd: He's got no d*ck!...<<clap, clap, clap clap clap>>...He's got no
d*ck!..... <<clap, clap, clap clap clap>>.....

Mr Man: Yeah, yeah.......You know something......if I die, you are all
bastards, you know that?

<<Some of the crowd actually laughs while the rest still chant>>

Mr Man: Listen, you can chant all you want. We aren't the ones that had to pay
to get in the door! Now shut your mouths and listen up cause I'm talking and
your listening!

<<Crowd starts to throw soda cups and popcorn bags all over the ring>>

Mr Man: You know, the funny thing is that you paid for that ***you are
throwing in the ring! You are all paying my paycheck and I'm living the life!
Dumbasses.....Okay, let me get my point out loud and clear....I have been the
R.A.W. World Champion for what.....2 years or something like that?...<<As he
puts a hand on the shoulder of Martini and asks him>>.... Is that right?

Sean Martini: Somethin' like that.....actually, I think it's been for almost 7
months now.

Mr Man: Oh yeah, it seems like 2 years cause I always deserved the belt and
because no one can beat me! I repeat.....NO ONE CAN BEAT ME!!

<<Crowd is booing and still throwing things>>

Mr Man: Now.....little do you know, you are one lucky crowd! Why you ask?

<<Seitz leans over to the mic>>

Steven Seitz: Why is that Mr Man...Almighty all time greatest wrestler in

Mr Man: Well, I'll tell ya'.....Tonight, we will see Sean Martini and the most
accomplished, most talented, largest package having, and most modest wrestler
in R.A.W. ......Me!.....<<As he points to himself>>....take on Donkey *** and
Dirty Rice tonight right here on Weekend Warriors! You see, I'm not only the
first ever Triple Crown winner....

<<Crowd boos>>

Mr Man: But, I'm also capable of tagging up or going at it one on one with the
best of them and we will show you tonight! Bring out those two that you call
opponents to the ring and let me and Martini take the bastards out!

<<Mr Man throws the mic down and starts hopping up and down as Steven Seitz is
rubbing his shoulders and Sean Martini is holding his belt in the air and
taunting the crowd with it>>