=/\\ ====//| ==========================
/ \ \ / /_____| Main Event!
| || | \/\/ // Chris Copeland vs
| |___| | / \ written by Dave
\ /\ _ / |
=\_______/ =\___/=\___/=\_______| ==========================
NATHAN LIOTTA - Main event time here for OWC and what a match it is. Both men
have been talking about this match for two weeks now ... it is time for one of
them to put up or shut up.
MAX FEMMIA - Well said Nathan ... your not going to see some mexican jumping
beans ... or any sort of flying flesh?
NATHAN LIOTTA - Flying flesh? What the hell is that?
MAX FEMMIA - I'm being trying to think of some new analogies.
NATHAN LIOTTA - Keep trying ... by the way ... is Max short for Maxine?
MAX FEMMIA -Blow me Liotta.
RING ANNOUNCER - The following contest is set for one fall and is the MAIN
["Look Thru my eyes " by DMX plays over the loudspeakers.]
RING ANNOUNCER - Coming down the aisle at this time ... originally from
Yonkers. New York. He stands 6'3" and weighs in at 240 pounds. Here is
"CONSTRICTOR" CHRIS COPELAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[The lights suddenly are turned off. There is a dead silence throughout the
arena. Out of nowhere appears Chris Copeland from the OWC locker room. A
green light trails him down the aisle and into the ring.]
NATHAN LIOTTA - Copeland is looking very confident. Both of these men are
newcomers as far as professional wrestling goes.
MAX FEMMIA -Yea ... 5 bucks says Copeland wins. I also bet another $5 on how
much this match is going to _suck_. How come the OWC can't get some real
talent like Tommy Rifles or Paul Kiljoy...
NATHAN LIOTTA - CAUSE WE CAN'T AFFORD THEM!!!!
RING ANNOUNER - And his opponent...
RING ANNOUNCER - Hailing from San Diego, California. Standing at six foot
seven inches, and weighing in at a ripped, and chiseled two hundred and seventy
pounds. Here is "THE MOVIE CRITIC" RRRRRROMAN CARTIERRRR!!!
[Suddenly clips of Roman are displayed on the giant video screen. Roman is
seen flexing into the camera. Then smiles are seen filling Roman's face. Then
behind the curtains out walks Roman Cartier. Roman is wearing grey leather
wrestling tights that read "The Movie Critic" across his rear. He also has on
a grey muscle tank top and black boots. Roman has his hair in a braided pony
tail. His fined defined face is seen shinning as he arrogantly walks down the
aisle laughing at the fans pointing at each and every one. Stars transmitted
from lights above are seen capacitating the aisle-way. Stars that repeatedly
flash on and off. Roman then finally makes it to ring-side where he slowly
walks up the ring-side steps. He then points at his face with his hands closed
up in a***and his thumbs pointing towards his face. Roman then steps
through the middle and the top rope. As he is in the ring walking in circles,
he kneels down in the center of the ring, and a rig of sparkling fireworks is
lowered. The sequence of fireworks begin as they spell out "ROMAN". As the
sparkling effects come to a abrupt hault the lights come back on. Roman then
stands in the corner of the ring admiring himself. Then he takes off his tank
top and throws it into the audience]
MAX FEMMIA - Look at Roman ... what a guy. He has Copeland outmatched in
height and size ... not to mention wrestling talent. But...
NATHAN LIOTTA - I thought you picked Copeland to win?
MAX FEMMIA - Let me finish damnit. What I was going to say was ... he might
have Copeland beat in a lot of areas but Copeland has the will power to beat
him. I think he wants the victory more by his comments the entire week.
NATHAN LIOTTA - Thank you Dr. Ruth!!!
MAX FEMMIA - Shut-up ... the match is beginning.
NATHAN LIOTTA - I can see that. Cariter and Copeland both circle one another
and tie up. Cartier with a good arm drag take down sends Copeland to the mat.
He follows it up with an arm bar but Copeland quickly slides to the ropes. If
Copeland is to stand a chance in this match ... he must keep Cartier off of the
MAX FEMMIA - No shit!!
NATHAN LIOTTA - Ah ... stuff it. Copeland is not the idiot you think him to be
Max. He has won many awards in various wrestling events. If anybody is a
rookie it is Cartier. He is a bad actor turned bad wrestler.
MAX FEMMIA - This is his first damn match and you call him a bad wrestler? The
guy's first move with an offensvie one. And where in the hell did you get me
criticizing Copeland ... that was a while ago.
NATHAN LIOTTA - Try about 2 minutes. Cariter has picked Copeland up and snaps
him over with a punphandle suplex. Cartier comes off the ropes and misses with
the elbow drop. Rookie mistake on that one ... Copeland is quick to take
advantage. He grabs Cartier's head for a reverese chinlock. Cartier is moving
quickly to the ropes...
MAX FEMMIA - God you are a boring commentator. I wonder what school you
attending that taught you how to be so boring? Maybe University of DULL!!!
NATHAN LIOTTA - Yea ... I could say the same about your comedian efforts.
Cartier is in the ropes and the referee forces Copeland to break the hold.
Copeland gets up and the fans receive him with a mixed reaction. Neither man
is much of a crowd favorite.
MAX FEMMIA - I can tell. Copeland grabs Cartier by the air and executes a
textbook vertical suplex. Copeland comes off the ropes and drops a leg right
across the face of Roman Cartier. He stands back up without making a cover...
NATHAN LIOTTA - What the hell is he doing?
MAX FEMMIA -It looks like he is "hissing". Man ... this guy is nuts. First he
has the funky eye ... noe he thinks he is damn snake.
NATHAN LIOTTA - Well if he is a snake ... he needs to pretend that Cartier is a
mouse and kill him fast. Taunting will get you nowhere in professional
wrestling. Copeland goes back ont he offensive again. He picks Cartier up and
whips him into the ropes. Copeland attempts a dropkick but Cartier saw it
coming and hangs on to the ropes. Copeland bounces right back up to his feet
but Cartier takes his head off with a vicious clothesline.
MAX FEMMIA - Did you see Copeland's head snap back? It looked like it was ona
spring or something ... God I love it!!!
NATHAN LIOTTA - You would enjoy somebody else's pain. Cartier picks Copeland
up and whips him into the turnbuckle hard. Cartier runs in and follows it up
with a hard clothesline. Copeland falls lifeless to the mat. Cartier is now
putting the boots to copeland in a blind rage.
MAX FEMMIA -That what happens when you go to wrestling school ... they teach
you how to be mean and deceiving ... and that is exactly what Roman Cartier is.
Cunning and ... what is the word for it ... EVIL!!!
NATHAN LIOTTA - The only thing evil about Cartier are his movies. My friend
rented "The Heart of a Lion" ... I swear it is the worst movie I have ever
seen. I've seen the lion in "The Wizard of Ozz" have more heart then Cartier.
The guy reminds me of a cheap fur coat...
MAX FEMMIA - I won't even ask why Liotta. Meanwhile _though_ ... Cartier is
*** Copeland around in the ring. He picks Copeland up and carries him
into the middle of the ring. He spins around and executes a beautiful sidewalk
slam. They don't teach it any better then that Nathan...
NATHAN LIOTTA - Not a bad move by Cartier ... he hooks the leg on Copeland...
MAX FEMMIA -Strong kickout there by Chris Copeland. There is no quit int he
guy. Cartier picks Copeland up and sends him into the ropes. Copeland ducks
under the clothesline and jumps on Cartier's back. He got him in a crucifix...
NATHAN LIOTTA - That was too close for Cartier. Copeland and Cartier are both
up to their feet and back off. Both men charge at one another and connect with
MAX FEMMIA - It looks like Copeland took the bigger hit on that one ... Cartier
threw his weight into it. The referee is counting both men out ... One! Two!
NATHAN LIOTTA - Some movement from Cartier...
MAX FEMMIA - Six! Seven! Eight!
NATHAN LIOTTA - Cartier pulls himself up by the ropes and now Copeland is
slowly coming to his feet. By the way Max ... I'm glad to see you can count to
MAX FEMMIA - Nine! Ten!
NATHAN LIOTTA - Wow ten ... good boy. Attention all math teachers ... Max is a
perfect example of what happens when you do _not_ pay attention to a "special"
MAX FEMMIA -Screw you Liotta ... wait till the card is done ... I'm sure Mr.
Riley is going to have a review of your commentary ... because frankly it sucks
my left nut ... maybe my right one as well.
NATHAN LIOTTA - That's funny ... from what I hear you only have one testical to
MAX FEMMIA - That is a lie!!!!
NATHAN LIOTTA - Wow ... defensive aren't we. Speaking of being on the defense
Cartier is backing Copeland into the corner. He is once again laying the boots
to Copeland. This time the referee pulls him off. Cartier is arguing with the
referee ... wait a minute Copeland charges in from behind...
MAX FEMMIA - HUGE bulldog on Roman Cartier. He flips him over and starts to
throw right and lefts. The guy is stradling Cartier ... what a homo.
NATHAN LIOTTA - That's what happens when anger gets the best of you. Copeland
needs to settle down and get into the rythem of his wrestling style. Quick
moves with fluency. Once this guy gets on a roll he is hard to stop.
MAX FEMMIA - True true true ... I hear we got some commotion backstage, lets
take a quick look!
[Camera goes to a room backstage where Johny Blue Jeans is laying on the ground
in his room, ***y. John Roy is shown there, standing and laughing with a
dented chair, he then walks out of the room.]
MAX FEMMIA - Wow, Roy laid out Blue Jeans backstage!
NATHAN LIOTTA - Sick! Back to the action, Copeland has Cartier by the hair.
He picks him up in a bear hug ... no. Copeland with a belly to belly suplex.
He puts all of his little body into that one. He drapes himself over
NATHAN LIOTTA - Cartier is holding his stomach ... maybe he was just forced to
watch a marathon of his "classic" movies.
MAX FEMMIA - Enough with his movies .. he is a critic now ... and a wrestler.
We all have a past we want to forget Nathan. Kind of like that time with your
mother about a couple months ago. God she screams!!!
NATHAN LIOTTA - Lay off with the momma jokes Max. You know how they get to me.
MAX FEMMIA - Okay I will. [evil laugh]
NATHAN LIOTTA - Copeland picks Cartier up again and whips him into the ropes.
Cartier ducks under the clothesline attempt. He comes back charging the other
way and sends Copeland over the top rope and to the outside. Here is where it
MAX FEMMIA - Cartier is on the outside and is furious. The crowd is booing him
like no tomorrow but who really cares. Cartier picks Copeland up and slams his
neck on the guard rail. Cartier rolls Copeland back into the ring. Both men
don't know that much about being "***".
[The crowd begins to boo loudly as John Roy walks out to the ring with his new
friend, the dented chair.]
NATHAN LIOTTA - True that Max. WHAT!? Whatg is John Roy doing at ringside?
Copeland is slowly coming to his feet and Cartier is taunting the fans with his
classic thumbs down gesture. He is on the ring apron still with his back to
Copeland ... stupid mistake.
MAX FEMMIA - Copeland charges Cartier and knocks him right into the steel guard
rail. Copeland now ascends up the ropes ... here comes some high flying time.
Cartier stirs to his feet and Copeland puts him back down with a double axe
handle blow to the back of the head.
NATHAN LIOTTA - Copeland picks Cartier up and throws him back into the ring.
This could be the beginning of the end for Cartier.
MAX FEMMIA -Copeland rulls under the ring and picks Cartier arms up ... CAMEL
NATHAN LIOTTA - Copeland really has it on and is applying some pressure to the
neck but mostly to the back. Copeland has worked on Cartier's head throughout
the match. Now I think he is buying some rest time.
MAX FEMMIA - Cartier is still kicking hsi legs in this hold DOn't count him
out of yet.
NATHAN LIOTTA - Well it looks like Cartier is too weak to stand up. He is
still kicking those leags ... wait a minute ... he has somehow found the ropes
... I don't believe it.
MAX FEMMIA - The referee wants Copeland to break the hold be he will not hear
anything of it. One! Two! Three! Four! ... Copeland releases.
NATHAN LIOTTA - That was dangerously close there Max. Cartier lays on the
ropes hurt while the referee goes at it with Copeland, here comes Roy and yhe
_smashes_ the chair over Cartier's head and the ref didn't see it!
MAX FEMMIA - I didn't see anything!
NATHAN LIOTTA - Cartier is hurt bad folks!
MAX FEMMIA - Yeah, its great!
NATHAN LIOTTA - Copeland pulls up Cartier and locks on a SLEEPER!!!!!!
MAX FEMMIA -I told you Copeland was going to pull this out. Roman Cartier is
going off into dream land. He is really put on the hold _tight_ ... I don't
think Cartier can breath. Copeland is holding Cartier up or he would not be
NATHAN LIOTTA - Wait a minute ... the referee is signaling for the bell ...
this one is over.
RING ANNOUNCER - The winner of this match ... "CONSTRICTING" CHRIS
MAX FEMMIA - Copeland does it but he is not letting go of the hold. The
referee is still trying to get him off but to no avail. God he is now hissing
again ... this guy must think he is a cobra.
NATHAN LIOTTA - Copeland finally lets go and a lifeless "Movie Critic" Roman
Cartier falls helpless to the ground. Copeland is getting up and the referee
is holding his hand in the air.
MAX FEMMIA - Mixed reaction from the crowd again ... nevertheless a victory for
Chris Copeland on his opening match in the OWC. Looks like Roman Cartier will
have to wait until some other time to pick up his first win. By the way Nathan
you owe me $5 ... I won.
NATHAN LIOTTA - Yes you did ... Copeland did win, but thanks to John Roy who
now steps inside the ring and is pounding on Cartier. Both men are pounding
the hell out of Cartier, trying to shorten his OWC tenure here folks! Lets get
some help out here!
MAX FEMMIA - This is great!
NATHAN LIOTTA - Copeland is now walking around the ring and is staring into the
camera. That red eye seems to be glowing. Wait! Here comes Johnny Blue Jeans
to the aid of Cartier!
MAX FEMMIA - We got a four way brawl here! But we gotta go!
NATHAN LIOTTA - So long from the first OWC event... I'm Nathan Liotta and...
MAX FEMMIA - I'm Max Femmia! bye all. Somebody tell the damn cable company to
cut us off the fuc....
[Screen fades to black...]
Max Femmia, Nathan Liotta, Carson Bordon
and all related names, characters and their
likenesses are copyright and trademark
Kevin Riley Productions (KRP) 1998.