END: Big Butch Thornton Flash
T.N.T: Well it looks like the Fearsome Foursome has decided to kill not
two, but three birds with one stone. Big Butch seems confident on
welcoming Kevin Flair to the UWA. And maybe he has scared him off
already because Flair has had nothing to say. But one of the hottest
things going on in the UWA today is the Fearsome Foursome. They have Big
Butch THornton as the number one contender for the heavyweight strap.
Crusher Stevenson is the number one contender for the International
belt. And the Devastation Crew are wrestling the Ministry of Justice
tomorrow night for the chance at getting a title shot, if they win. But
considering that we just heard from the D-Crew, lets go straight to the
Ministry of Justice.
(T.N.T and Rex turn back towards the video screen.)
The Ministry of Justice
[Screen image is enhancedJudge Jones and Minos are sitting within a
very dismal and cheap motel room, a light shade is missing from one end
table lamps. Jones is wearing a ripped black Tool tee shirt, cut-off
denim jeans, and black boots. Minos is clothed with a dark blue hooded
sweatshirt, khaki pants, and brown shoes. It seems as if they are
watching some video recordings of some of their previous matches, as
well as tapes of the Devastation Crew. They are discussing several
aspects of their impending match, and are devising a tentative
JUDGE: [looking at the camera man and interviewer] What the Hell do
you ***s want?
VOICE: How about a few words about your upcoming match? Any
JUDGE: Yeah, I've got a few words, "Get the Hell out!" How's that for
your gay little interview?
VOICE: Well, actually, I was hoping for something a little more in
JONES: I guess we owe it to the fans at least. I mean, they still
don't really know that much about Minos and myself. But we're sure as
Hell not divulging any aspects of our strategy.
Well, fans, this is where we're staying the night before our match,
the Coachlight Inn. It's not as quaint as the name might suggest. Minos
and I like to strip everything down to the basics for the few days
leading up to a match. No staying at the Marriot. No lodging at the
Sheraton. There're too many distractions at those kinds of places;
saunas, indoor pools, bars. You know, many wrestlers think that they're
on vacation when they come to a city like this. They think, "Wow, the
Big Apple, N-Y-C. I want to see a Broadway play, I want to see the
Statue of Liberty, I want to check out all the clubs in Manhattan."
Unfortunately, that's not what I'm getting paid to do. The Ministry is
here to wrestle, to fight before an arena of fans, as philistine as some
of them are, who cashed in their welfare and unemployment checks so they
could have one night of good entertainment. And for that we must be
prepared. Here, in this crude hovel, Minos and myself are able to
eliminate any diversions of concentration, and can focus on the
imminently impactive events at hand.
MINOS: Devastation Crew, I can only imagine what you're doing at this
very moment. All I can say is, enjoy it while it lasts. The pretty
girls, the drinking, always an enjoyable combination. But perhaps you
have taken too lightly the force you shall engage tomorrow. When you
wake next morning, with an anonymous young woman at your side, and the
feeling that your brain is attempting to escape from your skull, ponder
the inimical future that awaits you. The Ministry must move the massive
mountain in front of us, we move the first stone tomorrow.
JUDGE: D-Crew, welcome to the Neverhood!
END: Ministry og Justice Flash
Rex Roseman: I'll take it from here T.N.T. The Ministry deserve someone
better then yourself talking about them. So I will explain to everyone
how the Ministry of Justtice are completly correct. The are approaching
tomorrows match with a gameplan after days of preparation. But what is
the D-Crew doing?..... Exactly what the Ministry said they would.
Drinking the night away as if their match was only a minor
confrontation. And the Ministry predicted exactly that. If the D-Crew
don't feel like they have a hangover tomorrow morning, then they shore
as hell will feel like they have one after the Ministry is done with em.
T.N.T: I really think that we just heard from two superp tag teams here
on Weekend Spotlight. And I am sure that both of them will have throbing
headaches after the match. But a tag team that gives me a headache are
the tag team champs, Hell's Angels. They seem to think that they can
decide who gets a title shot when and where. Well, I have news for the
two of you, you decide exactly squat. So like it or not, if the D-Crew
win their match tomorrow, then they will recieve a title shot, and I
don't want to here another word about it from the two of you.
Rex Roseman: Here we go again with T.N.T abusing his presidential
T.N.T: I am only doing what is fair.
Rex Roseman: What it isn't fair is that Hell's Angels have to waste
their time worrying about such parasites as the D-Crew. Infact, I think
that I should be deciding who wrestles who... YA! Rex for pres. It will
be a landslide victory for me.
T.N.T: If will never happen. There would sooner be another TNT lurking
amoungst the ranks of the UWA. Impossible!
PROMO: Billy "Tiger Shark" MacGee v. Mystery Man
T.N.T: But we must be moving on to the next match. It involves newcommer
Billy MacGee and a mystery man. I can very clearly remember the last
time the UWA had a mystery man...... I became the first ever UWA two
Rex Roseman: The only mystery there was how you managed to walk out of
the royal rumble with the title. But you have taken the fun out of
guessing who a mystery man is. When you walked down that isle, I was
extremly dissapointed, I mean, I was expecting a big name. But i assure
you that the man who we are about to hear from will dissapoint none.
(The camera fades in on a rat infested boat. A figure stands in the
corner darkness masking his face. As a rat passes by him, a smile can
be made out through the darkness...then he looks up at the camera and
laughs. Then looking down, he begins to speak.)
???: UWA...it has been so long. So long since Vile Vince Viper tried to
break my back. So long since "Flaming" Bob tried to destroy my vision.
So long since *** cheated me out of the International Title. So long
since good was a force, well the darkness I have been hiding in is the
same that has engulfed the federation I once loved. The Time has come
and I will end the Darkness reign of terror. UWA, it is time to fight
against the evil. Thorten, Suicide...I remember you. You were nothing
when the UWA was decent...much like me, you have both come far since
then, but you step backwards instead of forwards. Tomorrow is knocking
and it is time to feel the good. I am that good and my power is
unmatched...not to bash your skills ***you can't beat me and if you
tried you would hurt yourselves. This is for all my fans out there who
want to see me make my huge come back, ladies and gentlemen I have
spoken prepare to get your as...ars whipped!
(As rats scurry across the floor the camera fades to black.)
END: Mystery Man Flash
Rex Roseman: I don't want to have to say that I told you so, but come
tomorrow, Billy MacGee will be begging for mercey after he finds out
just who the mystery man is.
PROMO: Jean Guy Lavalle v. The Elimanator
T.N.T: I guess that MacGee plans on doing his talking inside the ring as
he has not had much to say lately. But someone who has caused quite a
stir in the UWA as of late is scheduled to take on newcommer, the
Elimanator tomorrow. If you tuned into the Main Event last week from
Pittsburgh then you missed Jean Guy Lavalle bring Mario Lemieux down to
ringside with him. And he easily won over the crowd but will he be in
favor of the New York crowd in Madison Square Garden. Lets see just the
both of the combatants had to say.
Jean Guy Lavalle
( camera approaches a log cabin in the woods of Quebec.. the door swings
open and out steps Jean Guy Lavelle to meet the camera)
Jean Guy Lavalle: "Well everyone see what i can do now in UWA.. dat is
right i win my first match here.. but now i see dat i am going to the
Madison Square Garden in New York..i remember when i watch les Canadiens
play dere.. i watch all my favorite player go against the Rangers.. now
it is my turn to be at center ice.. in the ring.. i am looking forward
to dat... But also i see dat the Eliminator is the guy i have to fight..
i try to get a tape of him but there is none to get.. i want to see his
style.. i ask a few friend of mine to see if they have seen him.. and
they all say NO!!! dis guy is very secret.. and i am not sure what to
expect.. but i can warn him dat he better be prepared to meet me in the
ring and he will experience the brawling of a lumberjack.. i will not
back down from him and he will see dis... and as for his manager Mr.
Tanaka if you stick your nose into our match.. you will see what will
happen.. that is a warning.. and that is all i say about dat.. and you
offer to join the Legion of Darkness well let dem see what you can do..
and if they will want you after you tangle with me.. i have not friends
here or no enemy .. i do what i need to do.. and i have nothing to
fear.. dat is my motto.. i have dose guys dat know what is right
on my side and dey will be there if i need them.. they know i will be
dere if they need me.. so Saturday it is.. i will be dere.. ready for
what ever you have and you just bedder be ready for me...!!!"
(he turns.. closes the door and the camera fades..)
The Elimanator w/ Mr. Tanaka
(The scene opens up in the dark dungen of the Eliminator
where you can see two shadows come out of the dark
the eliminator is wearing his normal attire and is holding
a sword and next to him you can see what looks like a coffin
with jean guy lavalle writen on it.
Eliminator: Jean Guy, one more day till we face each other
till you meet your fate. Yes I am very secret, I am the one
that lurks in the shadows, I am the nightmare that people are afraid
of. And tomorrow you will be in my world.
(Then he opens the caskit.)
Eliminator: Yes, tomorrow I will put you to rest
cause the damnnation is upon us.
(Then he spits fake *** at the camra.)
MR TANAKA: Yes a dark cloud has fallin on to the UWA,
and that dark cloud is the Eliminator. UWA, prepair to
feel the wrath of the eliminator.
END: Elimanator Flash
T.N.T: I guess the Elimanator plans on putting Jean Gut Lavalle out of
commision. I guess that we will all just have to tune in tomorrow night
to find out what happens. We are just about out of time, and because of
the cat show on tonight, we had to skip over the Up-Close section of the
show this week. For Rex Roseman, I'm T.N.T, Goodnight everyone.
UWA? 1997, 1996
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