and white clips of former UEW greats scroll in the background...black and
white clips of "Offensive" Alex Adams, Tooth and Nail, "Smooth Operator"
Rico Smooth, the Misfits, Hightower, Sabin Figaro, "Awesome Lion" Moo Kame,
Spartan Troy Walters, Flex Steridicous, Lucky Williams, Octane, "Ugly Kid"
Joe Kidd, Vortex, Slugger, The Twin Towers, Mayhem Inc., Eric Smart, Colin
Drake and others with the old UEW logo in the corner. The screen then fades
into Josh Taylor sitting at the Sportscenter-like UEW Central control desk.]
Josh Taylor- Welcome everyone to our SEVENTH UEW Flashback show. We were
overwhelmed by the positive response we received after our first six
Flashback shows, that we're....
Voice from off-camera- Gonna give that line a rest already. So where do I sit?
[Lime tuxedo and all, the ever-rotund Kevin Diamond saunters his way onto
the set and pulls up a seat next to Taylor.]
Josh Taylor- Not like I want to know, but what are you doing here?
Kevin Diamond- Gotta spice up the show somehow. You know ratings have gone
down since I left SUNDAY NIGHT HEAT.
Josh Taylor- To the contrary, they've never been higher. People seem to
really like the direction the commentary has taken since Magnus Colby has
joined the team in your place.
Kevin Diamond- Oh, that's just coincidence. People have been tuning in
because so much has gone on during the last few weeks. The people at home
just sit back in their favorite chair, grab some snacks, get some drinks,
and if they're able to block out Colby and Flint, they get entertained by
three hours of the greatest action, drama, and e***ment today.
Josh Taylor- Can't argue that UEW has certainly been riding a high lately.
All that's gone on in the last three months will come to a head at HOLIDAY
HORROR 3 in Tokyo, Japan on December 23rd. 70,000 fans will be in attendance
to watch possibly the greatest single show of all time.
Kevin Diamond- Celebrity Dame's gonna STRIP??? Damn! Get me front row
seats!! Get me three!!
Josh Taylor- NO! I'm talking about HOLIDAY HORROR 3. In one week's time,
seven days from now, live in your homes you will see the UEW's winter
spectacular....the annual HOLIDAY HORROR Pay Per View. The Tokyo Egg Dome
has been sold out for months in advance.
Kevin Diamond- That's crazy considering that they didn't know any of the
matches until two weeks ago!
Josh Taylor- And what a lineup of matches they are! We will make sure to
discuss this historic card throughout the night as we take you back and show
you some of the events that led up to what will be a one-of-a-kind night.
Kevin Diamond- That other fed, you know, the one you go to when you can't
cut it here, they talk about no imitations accepted....well, they better
take their own advice because there's no way they'll be able to top what we
pull off in seven days at the Tokyo Egg Dome. Especially if we have that
Celebrity Dame *** you promised! Oh baby!
Josh Taylor- Will you give that a rest? Let's just shift gears and let you
know what's in store for the next three hours. First off, we will show you
the very first incident between the New Alliance and "Mr. E***ment" Alex
Kevin Diamond- Hey, that's what began the series of events that led to the
main event of RUMBLE IN THE BRONX '98 and BOTH the main event AND the
Ultimate Death Match signed for HOLIDAY HORROR 3!!
Josh Taylor- Plus, we will show you vintage footage of 1996.....from the old
Psychotic Championship Wrestling promotion situated in Oregon.
Kevin Diamond- Nothing good ever came from Portland...except for this! The
first time and the ONLY time the UEW Ultimate championship was put up for
grabs on a rival federation's supercard.
Josh Taylor- Probably the most influential match in UEW history, and we will
show it to you later tonight.
Kevin Diamond- Plus, since we're just making this "Other federations'
highlights" night, we're also going to show you clips from the FIRST Colby
Josh Taylor- The Insane Wrestling Coalition played host to the first Colby
Cup tournament in what seems to be ages ago. We will show you some classic
footage of what took place that night in the IWC. You won't want to miss it.
Kevin Diamond- Plus, the match that made "Black Knight" Alex Martinez a
household name, as well as the last person you would want to meet in a dark
alley, or even a bowling alley. The FIRST Ultimate Death Match between the
NA's enforcer, and the man who thought he could take him down, Magnus Colby.
Josh Taylor- Plus, the match that made "Ladykiller" Chris Tyler a star. From
The Ides of March- Italy nine months ago, ten man elimination tag team
action featuring two men who eventually rejoined as part of the New
Defiance, The Mercenary and Tyler.
Kevin Diamond- And don't forget the third man on their team, the man whose
star eclipsed them both a long time ago, the UEW American champion Nevermind.
Josh Taylor- The irony in that match is striking, and you will see it later
on. In addition, we will see the predecessor to this year's Heaven & Hell
Kevin Diamond- A one of a kind match, until they copied it and put it on
this year's HORROR card.
Josh Taylor- It doesn't matter, because as good as last year's was, this
year's version will simply blow the other away.
Kevin Diamond- Explosives have been added? Have we been letting The Evil
Masked Broadcaster in on the booking sessions again?
Josh Taylor- No. Besides, nothing TEMB could have imagined would reach the
intensity and *** level that the New Alliance/Alex Extreme feud has
Kevin Diamond- I don't know. I'm sure he had something to do with the
invention of Christmas shopping. And shopping malls.
Josh Taylor- Anyway, the setting was just this past summer. The UEW
Television championship was up for grabs between two men with remarkably
similar careers. Want to tell them about it, Kevin?
Kevin Diamond- I'm in the Chanukah spirit, Josh....I'll let you do it.
Josh Taylor- Thanks, Kevin. The parallels between the careers of Alex
Extreme and J'ster are scary. Both were brought to UEW by Rick Styles as
highly touted New Alliance recruits, J'ster from the DWO, and Extreme from
the IWF/WOW. Both immediately assumed the "NA Enforcer" title upon arrival.
J'ster was brought in to UEW in early 1997, but fell to a career-threatening
injury late that year, causing Styles to bring Extreme into the fold as a
replacement. Extreme went on to win the UEW Television championship in early
1998. However, following a Thunderdome cage match last May, Styles and
Extreme fought over who should take credit for the victory.
Kevin Diamond- Extreme also got all pissed off when Styles permanently
crippled Ivan Kolinski. It was then Styles realized that Extreme really
didn't have the mental toughness and killer attitude to be a member of the NA.
Josh Taylor- And it was also then that Extreme realized he didn't want to be
a part of a ruthless, shortcut taking group like that anymore. However, at
that time, J'ster returned from his injury and immediately made a challenge
toward the man who "replaced" him in the NA.
Kevin Diamond- Not only did Extreme accept, but he also put the title on the
line, and made it J'ster's kind of match...a Bag of Tricks match. Not to
give anything away, but the fool got exactly what he deserved by the end of
Josh Taylor- The scene was set. The hottest rising star in UEW, Television
champion and New Alliance member "Mr. E***ment" Alex Extreme, defends his
title against the man FORMERLY known as the hottest rising star and FORMER
New Alliance member, J'ster, in a Bag of Tricks match. So here it is, from
just this past summer, the match that served to be a turning point in BOTH
men's careers. Take a look...
Kevin Diamond- While I go to the can....
UEW FLASHBACK- SUMMER DREAMS '98- June 23, 1998
[FOR THE UEW TELEVISION CHAMPIONSHIP- BAG OF TRICKS MATCH]
Rules: Each man is allowed to bring a leather bag, with roughly the carrying
size of a watermelon, to ringside. The contents of the bag, including the
bag itself, are legal in the matchup.
-"Mr. E***ment" Alex Extreme (c) vs. J'ster
[The crowd tries to cheer the roof off the outdoor stadium at the
announcement of the first title match of the evening. Fireworks go off along
the ramp and shower down into the ring as once again, the camera switches to
show Jake Andrew Millen and Mick Mann sitting at the announcers table near
JAM: Hello again, ladies and gentlemen. As you know, I am Jake Andrew Millen
or JAM, and with me as always, is my partner in broadcasting... the newest
member of the New Word Order... "The Amazing" Mick Mann!
MM: That's right, I am Mick Mann and I am, Amazing! Next we bring to you the
first of two UEW Television title defenses as "Mr. E***ment" Alex Extreme
defends his title against the J'ster in the first-ever Bag of Tricks match.
JAM: That's right. Mick, who is your pick in this match?
MM: I'm going to have to go with J'ster. Just because I like the man.
JAM: I'm going to have to disagree, my pick is definitely Alex Extreme. I
mean, if he can keep the match fast-paced, it's definitely in his favor.
MM: If you say so. J'ster's rather small, so I think he can go high flying
and high risk just as easily as Extreme can. _And_ he's a great mat
technician, so if he can keep Extreme down on the mat, then _he's_ got the
JAM: You have a point. We're just about ready to go to Rick for the
introductions of our first title match of the evening.
Rick "The Ring" Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is
the first-ever BAG OF TRICKS MATCH FOR THE UEW TELEVISION CHAMPIONSHIP!!!
[The crowd begins to cheer wildly as the introductions begin...especially
when "Relax" by Frankie Goes to Hollywood begins to blast over the PA system
and highlights of the current Television champion begin to play on the
Rick "The Ring" Announcer: Introducing first, he stands six feet three
inches tall and weighs in
at two hundred and forty pounds... from Chicago, Illinois......here is the
REIGNING UEW Television champion....
!!!!!"MR. E***MENT" ALEX EXTREME!!!!!
[The fans start to get a little restless as nobody comes out from behind the
JAM: Where's Extreme?
[An incredible drum beat begins to sound through the arena which sends the
crowd into a frenzy.]
MM: What in the...
JAM: Wow! This is an amazing display! The drum beat is followed by about
twenty hula dancers who are handing out neon pink and blue lays! They are
surrounded by five men twirling flaming batons, what a display!
MM: The guys have stopped at the entry way... they swallowed the batons!
[The crowd screams like crazy!!!]
JAM: WOW! They just spat the fire out like flamethrowers! That was one big
wall of fire from those five guys!
MM: Now look, there are about 8 big females carrying out a bamboo chair...
with Alex Extreme, his bag, some other guy, and a HUGE watermelon on it!!!
MM: Only in UEW, huh?
JAM: I know that guy! Extreme is in the ring now and he has the microphone
"MR. E***MENT" Alex Extreme: Ladies and gentlemen, as you can see, I have
quite a big bag of tricks. but then most of the ladies of Hawaii already
[Huge pop form the female audience members.]
"MR. E***MENT" Alex Extreme: I'd like to introduce to you the Guiness
world record holder for growing the largest watermelon in history at 262
JAM: Wow! Extreme found a loophole! It said the bag had to be the size of a
watermelon, but it wasn't definitive... that's definitely a watermelon! And
it, and Mr. Carson are being deposited at ringside while all but two of the
fire baton guys head out. Wow, what an amazing entrance for the TV champ!
MM: Yeah, but here comes my guy.
["Relax" begins to fade, and is replaced by "Bag of Tricks" by the Henchmen,
which sends the capacity crowd into boos.]
Rick "The Ring" Announcer: And his opponent....Standing 6 feet tall and
weighing in at 235 pounds, here is tonight's first challenger for the TV
title....from the bayou of Mississippi.... J'STER!
[The camera zooms in on The Mercenary, who is seated at ringside wearing a
Montreal Canadians hockey jersey and a puck-head foam hat. He is gulping
away at a Molson beer. He sees the camera on him and tips his beer in a
MM: Why is The Mercenary here? And why is he decked out entirely in things
JAM: No idea... but here comes.... J'ster?
[A masked man walks out of the curtain, carrying his Bag of Tricks over his
shoulder. He is wearing what looks to be a bulletproof vest, which covers
most of his upper body.]
MM: Why in the world is he wearing a bulletproof vest!?
JAM: He's calling for a time out!? The match hasn't even started.
[Inside the ring, the masked man motions with his hands for a time out, and
rummages through his bag for something.]
MM: Are you sure that's J'ster.. why the mask?
JAM: No idea... but he pulled a pair of knee and elbow pads from his bag and
is putting them on now.
MM: I don't know, but J'ster is now in the ring and we're ready to get
[*DING* *DING* *DING*]
JAM: Extreme's searching through his bag and J'ster... J'STER'S GOT A GUN!!!
MM: YES!!! GO J'STER!
JAM: Extreme's hands are still in his bag, and J'ster's pointing that gun on
him! Security is mobilizing all around the ring!!!!
MM: Why??? The gun was in his bag, which means its legal!!!! He pulls the
JAM: It's J'ster!! Well, we already knew that, what's the point?
MM: The point is to unnerve Extreme before the match! J'ster's finally
snapped! But hey, anything in the bag was legal so...
JAM: J'STER PULLS THE TRIGGER!
[A few fans in the audience scream and pass out.]
JAM: WHAT THE HELL! The gun made a bang noise... and a little "Bang" flag
flew out of it... what was that all about?
MM: I don't know, but he just spewed red mist into Extreme's face! He hits
him with a few knee and elbow shots and slams the gun over his head! Extreme
is down. Extreme is not prepared for the onslaught of tricks and mindgames
that J'ster possesses.
JAM: But Alex's still got his hands in his bag... what can he possibly have
a hold of?
MM: Extreme's getting up... J'ster moved to his bag but Extreme is getting
up... HE HAS A WELCOME TO HAWAII SIGN POST!! BOTH THE SIGN AND THE POST! He
JAM: What a swing! J'ster just crumpled in a heap! Extreme's going back to
MM: Watermelons! Three of them!
JAM: It looks like Gallagher's wrestling in there!
MM: J'ster is soaked! He just got three watermelons over his melon!
JAM: J'ster just shoved his bag outside the ring... and now he grabs
Extreme's ankle and pulls him down to the mat. He's right on top of him
punching away while laying in elbow and knee shots.
MM: Those elbows and knees seem to be affecting Extreme an awful lot.
JAM: He's probably loaded the pads. That may be one reason the shots look so
MM: He's got Extreme prone... and he runs over to Extreme's bag... he's
emptying it all over the mat.
JAM: Extreme's bag of tricks has just been emptied by the J'ster!
MM: He's got a supersoaker.... a small bag of what looks to be powder... a
coil of rope... handcuffs... Crazy Glue!?
JAM: There's more... Duct tape, 4 more watermelons... an ice cream scoop and
a grease gun..... there's something else...
MM: NO!!! HE DIDN'T!!!
JAM: OH MY GOD!!!! DIDN'T HE LEARN THE FIRST TIME!!!!
MM: NOT EVEN J'STER BELIEVES WHAT HE'S SEEING!!!
JAM & MM: THE STANLEY CUP!!!
MM: Alex Extreme stole the Stanley Cup AGAIN!!!! And it's still dented from
the last UEW Pay Per View back in March!!! Scottie Bowman probably doesn't
even know it's gone!!!
JAM: Look at the expression on J'ster's face! He's got a good grip on that
cup... DOWN across the knee of Extreme!!! He tosses Lord Stanley's Cup
outside, and kicks all of Extreme's other weapons outside as well.
MM: What's J'ster doing? It looks like he's pulling Extreme to the middle
of the ring.
JAM: J'ster is dropping his knee into various parts of Extreme's leg,
working the entire leg over as Alex struggles and finally reaches the ropes.
The ref is forming J'ster to back off.
MM: Here comes Rick Styles... what's he doing here?
JAM: There's been tension between Alex Extreme and Rick Styles since REVENGE
'98. They've parted ways in the New Alliance, so I have no idea why Styles
would be here during this match.
MM: Styles is putting all of Extreme's weapons back in his bag. What a nice
Styles: C'mon Extreme! Hey, everything will be ok, keep up the good work!
MM: Good work? Doesn't he remember that Extreme quit the NA???
JAM: Styles is tying up the end of Extreme's bag. What is he doing???
MM: No idea. J'ster just executed a single leg takedown and now grapevines
Extreme's leg in a sort of modified figure-four.
JAM: Extreme doesn't even see Styles there, but it isn't as if he can do
anything about it in this situation.
[Styles picks up Extreme's bag and places it under the ring. He then takes a
different, identical bag, and places it where Extreme's original bag was,
before walking back to the locker rooms.]
MM: Extreme near the ropes though, and the ref makes J'ster break the hold.
Styles has disappeared through the curtain and J'ster is still leveling
Extreme with those shots to his leg.
JAM: J'ster picks Extreme up... he lifts him... knee breaker drop! Extreme
is in severe pain as the crowd tries to get behind him.
MM: J'ster pulls Extreme back up, Extreme fighting back with forearms.. a
punch to the head rocked the J'ster!
JAM: Extreme with a quick DDT almost out of nowhere! Both men are down as
the ref starts a standing 10 count.
MM: J'ster slowly gets to his feet and drives an elbow into the mid-section
JAM: But Extreme still struggles back to his feet! J'ster off the
ropes....HUGE BACK BODY DROP BY EXTREME!!! EXTREME FEELS THE RUSH OF THE
MM: ALEX EXTREME OFF THE ROPES...CLOTHESLINE LEVELS J'STER!!! EXTREME OFF
THE ROPES AGAIN....SOMERSAULT LEGDROP!!!
JAM: THE FIRST COVER OF THE MATCH!!!
J'STER BARELY GOT A SHOULDER UP!!!
MM: Extreme back to his feet....off the ropes, ASAI MOONSAULT CONNECTS!!!
J'STER BARELY STRETCHED HIS FOOT ONTO THE ROPE!!
JAM: Now Extreme goes over to his bag, he pulls the string to open it and
reaches for something good....
MM: A handful of feathers????
JAM: Extreme can't believe it!!! He empties out the bag....it's nothing but
MM: Rick Styles must have switched bags on Alex Extreme!!! OH!!! J'ster from
behind with a dropkick into Extreme's bad knee.
JAM: J'ster off the ropes.......KNEEDROP INTO EXTREME'S KNEE.
MM: Look like this is gonna be over soon, J'ster really worked on Extreme's
leg early on and now he's slamming him in the face with that loaded elbow pad.
JAM: J'ster rolls off of Extreme and to the outside. He's walking over to
his bag and he grabs something out of it. A DAGGER????
MM: What's he doing!? First a gun, now a dagger???? J'ster himself is one
huge bag of tricks!!!
JAM: He drops it onto Extreme!!! OH my god it went in! Extreme's been stabbed!
MM: How many more people have to die here at Summer Dreams???
JAM: J'ster pulls the knife out... and STABS HIMSELF! And a few more times!!
He- wait... that's a prop knife! J'ster's laughing all the while stabbing
MM: Wonderful. He tosses the knife outside and rips into Extreme's leg
again... he pulls him to the center of the ring... SHARPSHOOTER!
JAM: He's really got it locked in! Look at Extreme! He's clawing the mat
trying to get to the ropes!!!
MM: Extreme reaches back and grabs J'ster's leg...he yanks and J'ster
stumbles out of the Sharpshooter to the mat. Now is Extreme's time to
capitalize, if any!!!
JAM: Extreme fighting for his life and career here.. the knee could be
really seriously injured after all the punishment Alex has taken in this one.
MM: J'ster rolls outside and pulls something from his bag. It's a hypodermic
needle... Extreme doesn't see it.
JAM: J'ster injects it into Extreme's good leg! What was that! Wait! Last
year at Dreams... Styles used that mask... and The Mercenary used novocaine.
He is doing an homage to last year's main event of Summer Dreams '97!!! But
in the present, he just numbed Extreme's good leg!
MM: What in the world?? Here comes fellow Chicago native and UEW newcomer,
"The Urban Legend" Nolan Brown over the barricade to ringside.
JAM: He's got some kind of book that he's flipping through. I don't know why
MM: Inside the ring, J'ster is having his way with Extreme. J'ster whips
Extreme into the ropes, who stops short and clotheslines J'ster into a
360!!! Now he's trying to slap his leg in order to get feeling back!!!
JAM: Alex Extreme hobbles into the ropes, BUT NOLAN BROWN CAUGHT HIS LEG AND
PULLED HIM TO THE OUTSIDE!!
MM: J'ster is regaining his senses on the inside of the ring. He takes a
running start off the ropes.
JAM: J'STER WITH A BASEBALL SLIDE BUT EXTREME DUCKS AND J'STER TAKES OUT
MM: His book went flying. I'm curious.
[Mick Mann drops his headset to check out the book Nolan Brown carried to
JAM: Now Extreme levels J'ster with a right hand, and pulls himself up onto
the ring apron.
[Mick Mann returns to the table with the book, and puts on his headset.]
MM: Hey look! This page has been bookmarked.....it's Alex Extreme's high
school yearbook!!! His picture is crossed out and it says "Die, Alex, Die!!"
Heck, it looks like all of Extreme's pictures have been crossed out and
given the same caption.
JAM: Forget about that, EXTREME IS CLIMBING TO THE TOP ROPE!!!!
MM: ALEX EXTREME IS PERCHED....AND TAKES FLIGHT!!!
[The crowd rises to its feet and cheers loudly for UEW's resident daredevil.]
JAM: OHH!!!!! ALEX EXTREME, WITH BOTH LEGS ALMOST OUT OF COMMISSION,
MUSTERED ENOUGH STRENGTH TO HIT A DOUBLE MOONSAULT SPLASH TO NOLAN BROWN AND
J'STER ON THE OUTSIDE!!!!
Crowd: U!! E!! W!!!! U!! E!! W!!!
MM: All three men are down on the floor, that splash probably took more out
of Extreme than either J'ster or Nolan Brown.
JAM: Now, here comes UEW security to scrape Nolan Brown off the mat and take
him away from ringside.
[UEW security helps Nolan Brown to his feet, who breaks away and starts
pummeling Alex Extreme's bad knee. Even more security officers are required
to restrain him. On his way back to the locker rooms, Nolan passes the
announcers table and grabs his yearbook back from Mick Mann.]
MM: How rude!!! I still wanted to see what a young Magnus Colby looked like.
JAM: Hey look, who's that climbing over the barricade just behind us??
MM: Oh, I recognize him....that's "The Drifter" J.D. Carter from numerous
independent leagues. I heard President Jay offered him a contract sheet
earlier in the week. What is he doing here?
JAM: Everybody has their own agenda here at Summer Dreams '98, what is
Carter's motivation for hopping the railing and walking into this match??
[The big Texan, J.D. Carter walks over to where both J'ster and Alex Extreme
are laying on the mats outside the ring. He looks down and starts to chuckle.]
JAM: Oh no!!! He's over there near our fallen competitors!!! The last thing
this match needs is any more unwanted interference and controversy!!!! Leave
MM: That man over there is huge, and you are not. You really think he's
going to listen to YOU???
JAM: Carter bends down and picks up J'ster....and rolls him into the ring???
MM: See, he's not here to hurt either man. He's here to make sure this match
ends in the ring.
JAM: The referee is half-way up the ramp helping UEW security deal with the
crazed Nolan Brown, if he was still at ringside, this match would have been
over due to a double countout.
MM: J'ster back in the ring as Carter goes over to help Extreme back in. He
grabs Extreme by the head...
JAM: ...AND RUNS IT INTO THE RINGPOST!!!! ALEX EXTREME HAS TO OVERCOME EVEN
MORE OUTSIDE INTERFERENCE IN THE FORM OF J.D. CARTER!!! Extreme had his head
bashed in. I don't think ANYBODY can come back from bitter ex-stablemates, a
crazed psychopath, and now this huge newcomer.
MM: What is Carter doing now??? He is pulling out the steel steps away from
JAM: Carter grabs Extreme's bad leg and places it between the post and the
steps. What is he up to???
[The fans stand on their feet, and shudder as a loud crashing sound is heard
in the corner!!]
JAM: OHH!!! CARTER GAVE THE STEPS A RUNNING SHOULDERBLOCK AND CRUSHED
EXTREME'S KNEE BETWEEN THE STEPS AND THE POST!!!
MM: Now J'ster goes to the outside of the ring just as Carter jumps back
over the barricade where he came from. J'ster pulls Extreme's mutilated leg
out from the wedge and scoops Extreme up like a baby to get him back in the
JAM: There's no way Extreme can come back from this. He'd have to be
MM: J'ster follows Extreme back in and drags him by his bad leg to the
center of the ring. J'ster bends Extreme's knee and hooks it under his other
leg....oh no!! WELCOME TO TEXAS!!
JAM: IT'S J'STER'S LAST LAUGH, HIS VERSION OF THE CLOVERLEAF!!! Finally the
ref returns to the ring and to the match. He only missed about 30 guys
interfering against Alex Extreme.
MM: The ref is checking Alex Extreme, who is locked in the Last Laugh in the
center of the ring, with nowhere to go. The ref asks Extreme if he wants to
give, but Extreme isn't saying a thing.
more tricks in this show's bag...part 2