|> After broken fourth-finger on my wepon hand in a foil tournament (a wild
|> parry by my opponent; but I got the touch!), I added one more reason to my
|> list of:
|> THE TOP TEN REASONS TO PREFER EPEE
|> 1. No smacked fingers (big bell guard).
But lots of smacked carpals as everybody tries to flick over it.
|> 2. Unlike sabre, you actually get some exercise.
Unfortunately, it's all in the last minute before time expires.
|> 3. No right of way; if I get there first, I get the touch.
And if you get there second, you can still get a touch!
|> 4. No right of way; anyone who can count to 5 can direct.
Anyone who can count to 5 and spot the 101 ways to cheat, that is.
|> 5. No right of way; spectators can understand the match.
"Mom, why does he get a point for hitting the other guy's shoelace?"
"Because the shoelace is target, dear."
"But Mom, the other guy hit him in the chest."
"Yes, but he was a few milliseconds too late, dear."
"I don't understand, Mom."
"Shut up, dear."
|> 6. Epee is more of a thinking sport (lots of cat and mouse).
I'm a cat, huh huh, I'm a cat, huhhh uh huh. You're da mouse.
Uh uh huh. I'm da mouse. Huh huh, no wait a minute... <bzzt>
|> 7. No lame to buy, maintain, wear, and sweat in.
And we all know how epeeists sweat...
|> 8. No blade tape.
And only five weapon tests for each fencer at the start of
every bout! (*)
|> 9. Only one system of body cord plugs.
And they STILL have trouble figuring out which end goes to
the weapon and which end goes to the reel!
|> 10. ???????????????????
What's that, the expression on the epeeist's face when he doesn't
get a light?
|> Help me out folks, what do YOU consider the best reason to prefer epee?
You can fleche, turn your shoulders, and bump into your opponent --
all at the same time!
:-) :-) :-) for the humour-impaired (you know who you are).
-- Morgan Burke
(*) Can't remember them all? Two shim tests, weight test, bell test,
and check the spaghetti under the cushion.