I Wanna Tell You A Story

I Wanna Tell You A Story

Post by John Drak » Fri, 07 Nov 1997 04:00:00


Received the following today by e-mail from who knows where. Thought it
deserved a wider audience. Does it remind you of anything?

Well, it made me laugh anyway...

John
--
Rugby League - The Greatest Game on the Web
http://greatestgame.simplenet.com

Remove "nospam" from e-mail address to reply
-----------------------------

A Little Story  - Heard it before?

An Australian company and a British company decided to have a canoe race.
Both teams practised hard and long to reach their peak performance before
the race.

On the big day, the Aussies won by a mile.

Afterwards, the British team became very discouraged and depressed.
The management of the British company decided that the reason for the
crushing defeat had to be found. A "Measurement Team," made up of
senior management was formed to investigate and recommend appropriate
action.

Their conclusion was that the Australians had 8 people paddling and 1
person
steering, while the British had 1 person paddling and 8 people steering.

So the management of the British company hired a consulting company and
paid them incredible amounts of money. They advised that too many people
were steering the boat and not enough people were paddling.

To prevent losing to the Aussies again next year, the paddling team's
management structure was totally reorganised to 4 steering supervisors, 3
area steering superintendents and 1 assistant superintendent steering
manager. They also implemented a new performance system that would give the
1 person paddling the boat greater incentive to work harder. It was called
the "Paddling Team Quality First Program," with meetings, dinners and free
pens for the paddler. "We must give the paddler empowerment and enrichment
through this quality program."

The next year the Australian team won by 2 miles.

Humiliated, the management of the British company laid off the paddler
for poor performance, halted development of a new canoe, sold the paddles
and cancelled all capital investments for new equipment. Then they used the
money saved by giving a High Performance Award to the steering managers
and distributed the rest of the money as bonuses to the senior executives.

 
 
 

I Wanna Tell You A Story

Post by Keefy Ran » Sat, 08 Nov 1997 04:00:00


Quote:

> Received the following today by e-mail from who knows where. Thought it
> deserved a wider audience. Does it remind you of anything?

> Well, it made me laugh anyway...

> John
> --
> Rugby League - The Greatest Game on the Web
> http://greatestgame.simplenet.com

> Remove "nospam" from e-mail address to reply
> -----------------------------

> A Little Story  - Heard it before?

> An Australian company and a British company decided to have a canoe race.
> Both teams practised hard and long to reach their peak performance before
> the race.

> On the big day, the Aussies won by a mile.

> Afterwards, the British team became very discouraged and depressed.
> The management of the British company decided that the reason for the
> crushing defeat had to be found. A "Measurement Team," made up of
> senior management was formed to investigate and recommend appropriate
> action.

> Their conclusion was that the Australians had 8 people paddling and 1
> person
> steering, while the British had 1 person paddling and 8 people steering.

> So the management of the British company hired a consulting company and
> paid them incredible amounts of money. They advised that too many people
> were steering the boat and not enough people were paddling.

> To prevent losing to the Aussies again next year, the paddling team's
> management structure was totally reorganised to 4 steering supervisors, 3
> area steering superintendents and 1 assistant superintendent steering
> manager. They also implemented a new performance system that would give the
> 1 person paddling the boat greater incentive to work harder. It was called
> the "Paddling Team Quality First Program," with meetings, dinners and free
> pens for the paddler. "We must give the paddler empowerment and enrichment
> through this quality program."

> The next year the Australian team won by 2 miles.

> Humiliated, the management of the British company laid off the paddler
> for poor performance, halted development of a new canoe, sold the paddles
> and cancelled all capital investments for new equipment. Then they used the
> money saved by giving a High Performance Award to the steering managers
> and distributed the rest of the money as bonuses to the senior executives.

This is a good one, and it's now gone to aus.sport.rugby-league - I
presumed you wouldn't mind. This certainly rings a bell - and I'm not
talking sport!

--
Keefy Randy,  Sydney Australia

 
 
 

I Wanna Tell You A Story

Post by Vibrating Bum-Faced Goa » Tue, 11 Nov 1997 04:00:00


<SNIP story>

: This is a good one, and it's now gone to aus.sport.rugby-league - I
: presumed you wouldn't mind. This certainly rings a bell - and I'm not
: talking sport!

It's gone round select members of our staff mailing list too. Certain
people didn't get it lest I be accused of approaching our impending
review by management consultants with "the wrong attitude".

--
Chris PRR Russell          
Electronic Imaging Dept.
University of Bradford
Tel: +44 1274 385463