(NBA Finals) Here's what *I* am hoping to see tonight...

(NBA Finals) Here's what *I* am hoping to see tonight...

Post by Torrey M. Spear » Sat, 16 Jun 2007 07:22:20


... Game #4 of the NBA Finals.

Dear Cleveland Cavaliers.  Please.  You owe it to yourselves, the
fans, the city of Cleveland, the State of Ohio, the country, the
basketball universe... for the good of the game... tonight.  Go out
and lose by 40 points.  Shoot wild NBA Jam style half court shots.
Turn the ball over 45 times.
No assists.  Play with 4 guys on the court.  LeBron, get T'd up and
thrown out after picking up your fifth foul before halftime.
Mike Brown; lose your bowels on the bench, and cry like a 3 year old
child.
I want to see Scott Pollard play 35 minutes tonight.

Dear ABC.  Please.  Show Eva Longoria every 33 seconds.  When she
smiles, when she's on the phone, when she picks her nose.  When she
eats popcorn (oh who am I kidding.  I'll be waiting all day to see
that child eat).  Remind me about her and Tony Parker's wedding next
month.  At halftime, I want an Eva Longoria vignette.

Dear Mark Jackson.  Please.  Kindly refer to Tim Duncan as the
greatest power forward in the history of basketball about 300 more
times.  Please.  Don't stop there.  Refer to Tim Duncan as the
greatest athlete of all time.  Begin calling for the U.S. ***
Islands to rename themselves the "Duncanlands".  Then kindly break
down the fundamentals of the pick-and-roll, and please give props to
the officials every chance you get.

Dear Jeff Van Gundy.  Kindly go apeshit tonight on why you don't have
a job, but Mike Brown does.  Refer to him as the worst human being on
Earth, call for LeBron to be traded to the Atlanta Hawks, then take
your headset off, run out on the court, and kick Manu Ginobli in the
marbles the first time he flops.  Then, spit on that other guy, give
Stuart Scott the finger, and moon Jon Barry.

Dear Grant Hill.  Please.  Refer to the Cavaliers as a "JV" team
again.  No, better yet, call them the Smelters from Rebound before
Martin Lawrence got there.  Then talk about salivating at the
opportunity to gravy-train;er;play with the Phoenix Suns.

Dear Mike Wilbon.  Kindly dropkick David Stern.

Dear David Stern.  Take the Larry O'Brien trophy; shine it up real
nice, lube it up... turn that sum'*** sideways, and stick it
straight up your candy ass.

Dear ABC.  Once all this is done, by the middle of the third quarter-
cut the game off inexplicably for re-runs of T.G.I.F. lineup from
1989.  Perfect Strangers, Full House, Family Matters, and Step By
Step.  Then run a Fox News type crawl that says the NHL and NBA have
merged in order to draw an 8 in primetime ratings.

That's what I want to see ... tonight.

-- TMS

 
 
 

(NBA Finals) Here's what *I* am hoping to see tonight...

Post by Charlie Boar » Sat, 16 Jun 2007 07:44:13

Fishing must be bad today in Phoenix.
Quote:

> ... Game #4 of the NBA Finals.

> Dear Cleveland Cavaliers.  Please.  You owe it to yourselves, the
> fans, the city of Cleveland, the State of Ohio, the country, the
> basketball universe... for the good of the game... tonight.  Go out
> and lose by 40 points.  Shoot wild NBA Jam style half court shots.
> Turn the ball over 45 times.
> No assists.  Play with 4 guys on the court.  LeBron, get T'd up and
> thrown out after picking up your fifth foul before halftime.
> Mike Brown; lose your bowels on the bench, and cry like a 3 year old
> child.
> I want to see Scott Pollard play 35 minutes tonight.

> Dear ABC.  Please.  Show Eva Longoria every 33 seconds.  When she
> smiles, when she's on the phone, when she picks her nose.  When she
> eats popcorn (oh who am I kidding.  I'll be waiting all day to see
> that child eat).  Remind me about her and Tony Parker's wedding next
> month.  At halftime, I want an Eva Longoria vignette.

> Dear Mark Jackson.  Please.  Kindly refer to Tim Duncan as the
> greatest power forward in the history of basketball about 300 more
> times.  Please.  Don't stop there.  Refer to Tim Duncan as the
> greatest athlete of all time.  Begin calling for the U.S. ***
> Islands to rename themselves the "Duncanlands".  Then kindly break
> down the fundamentals of the pick-and-roll, and please give props to
> the officials every chance you get.

> Dear Jeff Van Gundy.  Kindly go apeshit tonight on why you don't have
> a job, but Mike Brown does.  Refer to him as the worst human being on
> Earth, call for LeBron to be traded to the Atlanta Hawks, then take
> your headset off, run out on the court, and kick Manu Ginobli in the
> marbles the first time he flops.  Then, spit on that other guy, give
> Stuart Scott the finger, and moon Jon Barry.

> Dear Grant Hill.  Please.  Refer to the Cavaliers as a "JV" team
> again.  No, better yet, call them the Smelters from Rebound before
> Martin Lawrence got there.  Then talk about salivating at the
> opportunity to gravy-train;er;play with the Phoenix Suns.

> Dear Mike Wilbon.  Kindly dropkick David Stern.

> Dear David Stern.  Take the Larry O'Brien trophy; shine it up real
> nice, lube it up... turn that sum'*** sideways, and stick it
> straight up your candy ass.

> Dear ABC.  Once all this is done, by the middle of the third quarter-
> cut the game off inexplicably for re-runs of T.G.I.F. lineup from
> 1989.  Perfect Strangers, Full House, Family Matters, and Step By
> Step.  Then run a Fox News type crawl that says the NHL and NBA have
> merged in order to draw an 8 in primetime ratings.

> That's what I want to see ... tonight.

> -- TMS


 
 
 

(NBA Finals) Here's what *I* am hoping to see tonight...

Post by Scott » Sat, 16 Jun 2007 07:46:58

Quote:

>  Once all this is done, by the middle of the third quarter-
> cut the game off inexplicably for re-runs of T.G.I.F. lineup from
> 1989.  Perfect Strangers, Full House, Family Matters, and Step By
> Step.  

Actually, the 1989 TGIF was Perfect Strangers, Full House, Mr.
Belivedere, and Just the Ten of Us.  You're thinking of 1990-91.

 
 
 

(NBA Finals) Here's what *I* am hoping to see tonight...

Post by Torrey M. Spear » Sat, 16 Jun 2007 09:14:42


Quote:


> >>  Once all this is done, by the middle of the third quarter-
> >> cut the game off inexplicably for re-runs of T.G.I.F. lineup from
> >> 1989.  Perfect Strangers, Full House, Family Matters, and Step By
> >> Step.

> > Actually, the 1989 TGIF was Perfect Strangers, Full House, Mr.
> > Belivedere, and Just the Ten of Us.  You're thinking of 1990-91.

> No.

> The 1989-90 TGIF was "Full House", "Family Matters", "Perfect Strangers", &
> "Just the Ten of Us". "Family Matters" replaced "Mr. Belvedere", which only
> ran on the 1988-89 TGIF schedule, moved to Saturdays for 1989-90, abruptly
> pulled halfway during that season, and subsequently only aired a two-part
> series finale in a Sunday slot.

> "Step By Step" didn't even premiere until the beginning of the 1991-92
> season.

<chandler> Oh My God.  </chandler>
 
 
 

(NBA Finals) Here's what *I* am hoping to see tonight...

Post by Scott » Sat, 16 Jun 2007 09:42:41

Quote:





>>>>> Once all this is done, by the middle of the third quarter-
>>>>>cut the game off inexplicably for re-runs of T.G.I.F. lineup from
>>>>>1989.  Perfect Strangers, Full House, Family Matters, and Step By
>>>>>Step.

>>>>Actually, the 1989 TGIF was Perfect Strangers, Full House, Mr.
>>>>Belivedere, and Just the Ten of Us.  You're thinking of 1990-91.

>>>No.

>>>The 1989-90 TGIF was "Full House", "Family Matters", "Perfect
>>>Strangers", & "Just the Ten of Us". "Family Matters" replaced "Mr.
>>>Belvedere", which only ran on the 1988-89 TGIF schedule, moved to
>>>Saturdays for 1989-90, abruptly pulled halfway during that season,
>>>and subsequently only aired a two-part series finale in a Sunday
>>>slot.

>>>"Step By Step" didn't even premiere until the beginning of the
>>>1991-92 season.

>><chandler> Oh My God.  </chandler>

> Yeah, you should both do some research before I own you two conservatard
> clowns in another thread.

Oh no, I got pwnd on my knowledge of TV Sitcom schedules of 20 years
ago!  You are truly great!
 
 
 

(NBA Finals) Here's what *I* am hoping to see tonight...

Post by jsla.. » Sat, 16 Jun 2007 10:01:44


Quote:
> ... Game #4 of the NBA Finals.

> Dear Cleveland Cavaliers.  Please.  You owe it to yourselves, the
> fans, the city of Cleveland, the State of Ohio, the country, the
> basketball universe... for the good of the game... tonight.  Go out
> and lose by 40 points.  Shoot wild NBA Jam style half court shots.
> Turn the ball over 45 times.
> No assists.  Play with 4 guys on the court.  LeBron, get T'd up and
> thrown out after picking up your fifth foul before halftime.
> Mike Brown; lose your bowels on the bench, and cry like a 3 year old
> child.
> I want to see Scott Pollard play 35 minutes tonight.

> Dear ABC.  Please.  Show Eva Longoria every 33 seconds.  When she
> smiles, when she's on the phone, when she picks her nose.  When she
> eats popcorn (oh who am I kidding.  I'll be waiting all day to see
> that child eat).  Remind me about her and Tony Parker's wedding next
> month.  At halftime, I want an Eva Longoria vignette.

> Dear Mark Jackson.  Please.  Kindly refer to Tim Duncan as the
> greatest power forward in the history of basketball about 300 more
> times.  Please.  Don't stop there.  Refer to Tim Duncan as the
> greatest athlete of all time.  Begin calling for the U.S. ***
> Islands to rename themselves the "Duncanlands".  Then kindly break
> down the fundamentals of the pick-and-roll, and please give props to
> the officials every chance you get.

> Dear Jeff Van Gundy.  Kindly go apeshit tonight on why you don't have
> a job, but Mike Brown does.  Refer to him as the worst human being on
> Earth, call for LeBron to be traded to the Atlanta Hawks, then take
> your headset off, run out on the court, and kick Manu Ginobli in the
> marbles the first time he flops.  Then, spit on that other guy, give
> Stuart Scott the finger, and moon Jon Barry.

> Dear Grant Hill.  Please.  Refer to the Cavaliers as a "JV" team
> again.  No, better yet, call them the Smelters from Rebound before
> Martin Lawrence got there.  Then talk about salivating at the
> opportunity to gravy-train;er;play with the Phoenix Suns.

> Dear Mike Wilbon.  Kindly dropkick David Stern.

> Dear David Stern.  Take the Larry O'Brien trophy; shine it up real
> nice, lube it up... turn that sum'*** sideways, and stick it
> straight up your candy ass.

> Dear ABC.  Once all this is done, by the middle of the third quarter-
> cut the game off inexplicably for re-runs of T.G.I.F. lineup from
> 1989.  Perfect Strangers, Full House, Family Matters, and Step By
> Step.  Then run a Fox News type crawl that says the NHL and NBA have
> merged in order to draw an 8 in primetime ratings.

> That's what I want to see ... tonight.

> -- TMS

Good stuff, but you left out some Pistons fans, players, and coaches,
coming out at the beginning of the game and either (i) beating down
the Cavs, then challenging the Spurs to play a "real" eastern
conference team, or (ii) pleading with the league and the network that
they could actually win a game or two and get higher ratings.--Joe
(n.j.) [mWo]
 
 
 

(NBA Finals) Here's what *I* am hoping to see tonight...

Post by Lord Gow333, Conservative Fullback » Sat, 16 Jun 2007 11:53:10


Quote:




>>> >>  Once all this is done, by the middle of the third quarter-
>>> >> cut the game off inexplicably for re-runs of T.G.I.F. lineup from
>>> >> 1989.  Perfect Strangers, Full House, Family Matters, and Step By
>>> >> Step.

>>> > Actually, the 1989 TGIF was Perfect Strangers, Full House, Mr.
>>> > Belivedere, and Just the Ten of Us.  You're thinking of 1990-91.

>>> No.

>>> The 1989-90 TGIF was "Full House", "Family Matters", "Perfect
>>> Strangers", & "Just the Ten of Us". "Family Matters" replaced "Mr.
>>> Belvedere", which only ran on the 1988-89 TGIF schedule, moved to
>>> Saturdays for 1989-90, abruptly pulled halfway during that season,
>>> and subsequently only aired a two-part series finale in a Sunday
>>> slot.

>>> "Step By Step" didn't even premiere until the beginning of the
>>> 1991-92 season.

>> <chandler> Oh My God.  </chandler>

> Yeah, you should both do some research before I own you two conservatard
> clowns in another thread.

This would really be impressive if anyone actually gave a ***.

It's called "sarcasm". Research that.

LG (wondering just how many more edges Chad can possibly go over at this
point)
--
Failure is the opportunity to begin again more intelligently. - Henry Ford