NBC anchor Bob Costas and Janet Evans enter Olympic Games!!!

NBC anchor Bob Costas and Janet Evans enter Olympic Games!!!

Post by Derek Co » Tue, 30 Jul 1996 04:00:00

         A New Event Has Been Added to the Centennial Games
                  ----For immediate press release

Atlanta, Georgia  (AP), July 28, 1996

A new event has been added to  this centennial Olympic Games in
Atlanta, Trashing Your Opponents Relay. This competition has been
an American tradition for ages. Recent medical researches show that
 this is an event extremely good to the participants' psychological
 health, especially for those athletes who have lost in other
events. With the extended television coverage from NBC,  
this event may someday become American's No.1 sport.

The four teams qualified for the final are all American.  In  
Team A, we have the oldest Olympic contenders in history, the
president of America, Bill Clinton and GOP presidential hopeful
Bob Dole. For years, they have been pointing fingers to each other
 and running negative campaigns against each other. Now for the
American interests, they are unified  to challenge the whole world.
Although they are the oldest in the centennial Games, their team is
certainly considered the strongest in this field in this country
and in the world.  The younger American contenders have attributed
their enthusiasms in this sport to these two advocates.

In Team B, we have Bob Costas, the NBC sports anchor who helped his
team enter the final by his excellent performance in the Official
Opening Ceremony; his trashing skill was well demonstrated  in his
introductions to the Olympic teams from some developing countries;
Robert Millard, an AP reporter who won his position in this team by
spreading rumors  in his coverage of the diving event.

In Team C, we have Janet Evans, the long time world leading athlete
in this field. She is a modest person, as she said herself, however,
 she is certainly a very aggressive player in this event. Although
many swimmers, like Michelle Smith, have defeated her in swimming
events, they are certainly not a match to her in this one.  She is  
hoping that this event will bring her the fifth gold medal and
prove that her best talent is in this sport.  Her teammate is Amy
Van***n, the Americans' newest sweetheart, who was unfortunately
defeated during a swimming match just because she clasped after the
game.  However, her beautiful skills in this field was revealed in
her groundless accusation of her opponents'  drug usage.

In Team D, we have Mary Ellen Clark, the  most charming American
Olympian who has a beautiful feminine body which drug-taking female
athletes from other countries are not possible to have; by her side
is her coach, Ron O'Brien, whose successful rumor spreading ability
was well shown in his interview with AP.

It has been reported that Trashing Your Opponents  is an event
suitable for every  loser or potential loser -- young or old,
athlete or coach, journalists or politicians. You need no previous
training to be a winner. However, the most talented athletes in
this sport come from those who are physically fit for it. In other
words, they all have articulate tongues,  big mouths and narrow
minds. Some athletes from other countries have been spreading  
rumors that  the reason  these Americans are so physically fit for
this sport is just because they have been taking ethics depleting
and chauvinism  enhancing ***. However, the spokesman of the US
Olympic team strongly denied the accusation. He said "This is
totally nonsense. I feel deeply sorry for the people who make such
a groundless accusation. Where is their sportsmanship? Where is
their Olympic spirit? These American athletes who made to the final
competition are  just genetically created for this sport." Now, the
relay begins! Something unprecedented in the Olympic history is
happening right here in Atlanta!