Of Torville, the gracious Queen Ann has said:
(who looks to be about 30 years older than Chris) must have qualified
for Medicare by now....."
"....I hear that Jayne keeps busy buying wrinkle cream."
I am confident that someone who would say such things about another person is
COMPLETELY secure about her own youth, her own silky smooth skin. Ann, let me
reassure you: on top of being the most charming and delicate woman I have ever
met, you are also the most beautiful. Don't worry! For the rest of your life,
Caresse will come knocking on your door begging you to replace Kwan as their
celebrity endorser. Caresse soap. Maybe Oil of Olay. DEFINITELY not some
company that sells raisins or prunes.
That you spend most of your time hiding behind a computer screen only
reinforces my firm belief that you are indeed the Helen of Troll--I mean,
Troy--of this news group. "Who has time to party with the boys? Surely I will
get stalked and surely other women--catty ***es!--will just whack me on the
knee to make me less beautiful! The safest thing to do is, sit at home behind a
cathode ray tube and admire my beautiful, silky skin." Some people might
think: "Ann J. Lewis, Esq., says all these outrageous things because
subconsciously she is trying to compensate for the fact that she received no
attention as a child." But this is not true! Who would think such stupid
thoughts? Only someone without a top-notch legal education such as the one Ann
J. Lewis received all the while juggling a hectic full-time job as Victoria's
I now join all the others in kowtowing to you, my Queen.