Funny Thoughts

Funny Thoughts

Post by Eddie » Sat, 22 May 1999 04:00:00


Hi, everybody !    I've enjoyed RSB for over a year, I rarely
post , just read. Some of you know me. I always laugh my ass off
when some of you come up with wierd or funny stories. Well,
here's my turn. These are some really funny word meanings, that
you might think about on occasion.
Enjoy.
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as ***s
enjoy ***ery?

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the
rest have to drown too?

If you ate pasta and antipasti, would you
still be hungry?

If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

Why do women wear evening gowns to nightclubs?
Shouldn't they be wearing night gowns?

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

Why is it that when we bounce a check, the
bank charges us more of what they already know we
don't have any of?

When someone asks you, A penny for your
thoughts and you put your two cents in, what
happens to the other penny?

Why is the man who invests all your money
called a broker?

Why do croutons come in airtight packages?
It's just stale bread to begin with.

When cheese gets it's picture taken, what does
it say?

If you mixed vodka with orange juice and milk
of magnesia, would you get a Phillip's Screwdriver?

Why is a person who plays the piano called a
pianist, but a person who drives a race car not
called a racist?

Why can't you make another word using all the
letters in "anagram"?

Why is it that no word in the English language
rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple?

Why, when I wind up my watch, I start it; but
when I wind up a project, I end it?

Why is it that we recite at a play and play at
a recital?

Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?

Why do we say something is out of whack?
What is a whack?

Why don't tomb, comb, and bomb sound alike?

Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?

If horrific means to make horrible, does
terrific mean to make terrible?

Why isn't 11 pronounced onety one?

"I am." is reportedly the shortest sentence in
the English language. Could it be that "I Do." is
the longest sentence? hehehehehe

If the singular of GEESE is GOOSE, shouldn't a
Portuguese person be called a Portugoose?

Why is a procrastinator's work never done?

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen
defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians
can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys
deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked
and drycleaners depressed?

Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?

Why is it that if someone tells you that there
are 1 billion stars in the universe you will
believe them, but if they tell you a wall has wet
paint you will have to touch it to be sure?

Are people more ***ly opposed to fur
rather than leather because it's much easier to
harass rich women than motorcycle gangs?  hehehehehe

If you take an Oriental person and spin him
around several times, does he become disoriented?

If people from Poland are called "Poles," why
aren't people from Holland called "Holes?"

Eddie C

Bayamon,PR

 
 
 

Funny Thoughts

Post by sam » Sat, 22 May 1999 04:00:00

Eddie, Way to go.  Excellent.  Sincerely, Sam

Quote:

>Hi, everybody !    I've enjoyed RSB for over a year, I rarely
>post , just read. Some of you know me. I always laugh my ass off
>when some of you come up with wierd or funny stories. Well,
>here's my turn. These are some really funny word meanings, that
>you might think about on occasion.

<snipped excellent jokes>
Quote:
>Enjoy.
>Eddie C

>Bayamon,PR


 
 
 

Funny Thoughts

Post by Mountain Mike^ » Sat, 22 May 1999 04:00:00


Quote:
> Eddie,
>      That one went right to the printer.  BTW, this forum is strictly
regulated
> to insure that the topic at hand is related to pool and billiards.

Yes it is. where's the damn poooolice when you need 'em?

MM^^<--just a mountain of a man.

 
 
 

Funny Thoughts

Post by FCIS » Sun, 23 May 1999 04:00:00

great stuff!
        Gary
 
 
 

Funny Thoughts

Post by T78M » Sun, 23 May 1999 04:00:00

Eddie,
     That one went right to the printer.  BTW, this forum is strictly regulated
to insure that the topic at hand is related to pool and billiards.  Unless you
are:
1.  rich and famous
2.  a professional pool player (preferably in the top 25)
3.  a resident of Alaska
4.  a US citizen residing in Japan
5.  have a nifty sig file and can draw fish with the QWERTY keyboard
6.  Bob Jewett or Robert Byrne
7.  have a nifty screen name that your state wouldn't allow on your car tags
8.  a mountion of a man
9.  sincere
10.  convinced that your Lorcet and 1 drink won't really effect what you do or
say
11.  reporting live from the Grand Canyon
12.  ride a Hog
13.  live with a Hog
14.  act like a Hog
15.  living in annonimity (sp)
16  starting a thread about the final score of the Super Bowl
17.  women enough to put your full name at the end of your message
18.  man enough to put down some cryptic bullshit that means you are ashamed to
associate your true name with your true feelings

In closing allow me the luxory of exemption #10

With best regards........Paul J. Mon

    .  B4I4Q RU QTPI
                      18

 
 
 

Funny Thoughts

Post by Phillip T. Murph » Wed, 26 May 1999 04:00:00

Quote:
>When someone asks you, A penny for your
>thoughts and you put your two cents in, what
>happens to the other penny?

To the government!